Friends mom: Damn you literally have no ass, Lynne.
Friend: I know right! Why don't you try sticking your ass out obnoxiously like girls do?
Me: Because I don't want break my spine in the process.
Friends brother: *just walks out onto the porch with us* *looks like he's about to say something*
Me: If you say anything I will destroy you.
Friends brother: *eyes dropped to the ground* *mumbling* I think you look fine the way your ass is.
Me: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?
