LUNATIC

Chapter 2

           

I wake up inside the same grey room, with nothing but a light pending from the ceiling, the memory of a tall black haired man seems to have been a dream and I cannot make sense of what happened next, we talked for a second and after that I woke up. I sit on the bed and look to the door, hoping someone will open it and bring me breakfast, feeling hungry. I don't want to think, or to let my imagination knock on my mental doors, so I get up and knock on the door that was real. Nothing happens, I can feel my inner voice crawling under my consciousness, trying to find a hole in my defences. What time can it be?, why does it feel like it is way too late for breakfast already?

"I need my medication!" I scream to the door, keeping on knocking. It takes them time to hear me so my imagination starts to take control, slowly and then all at once. The scene developed in front of my eyes, a little girl with white flowers on a red dress was walking around, innocent and careless, a dark figure approaches with a crocked smile and grabs her arm, she looks up but can only see his smile, she hurts but he does not let go.

"Leave me alone!" She screams, or did I? Losing the connection between who I am and who she is.

He speaks no words, he starts to unbutton his pants, revealing his penis with the kind of pride that I've always hated in men, who said you should be proud to have something that you did not earn at all?

I know what comes next, and I know I do not want to see what follows, so I close my eyes and get cover under the bed, thinking my imagination won't reach me here, but it does, I feel something touch me and a distorted voice speaks on my ear.

"She needs you, now!"

I feel myself get pulled out of my safe place and throwed against the corner of the room, my shoulder hurts. "Let her go!" I scream but nothing happens.

I'm aware of the tears wetting my face, I try to clean them with the white sweat-shirt I'm obligated to wear and get up, I don't know what I can do against my imagination, I don't know how it works, nevertheless I walk in the direction of the dark figure, as it lays down the girl and covers her body with his, she screams and moves frenetically, trying to get away from his grip. Suddenly I feel this anger form in my chest, a fire that I have never felt before was raising inside of me as I keep walking towards them, I touch him on the shoulder, he looks at me surprised. Before one of us has time to think, - because time is precious in these situations, if I think I'll be afraid and if he thinks he'll probably be able to get me away from him with a simple move that my afraid brain won't have time to process before my body gets sent to the corner of the room again. – I punch him as hard as I can on his face, and then again, and again, I don't stop until he crumbles and when he does I push him away from the little girl who breathes heavily and runs away, hiding under the bed. I keep on punching him as hard as I can, my body on top of his, keeping him away from her. I see his smile but nothing else, and he keeps on smiling while his teeth turn from yellow to red. Before I realize it something grabs me and he vanishes into the air, my fists are redecorated with open wounds and bruises when I look at them, I take a look to the little girl under the bed, she looks at me and whispers 'thank you' before running against the wall and vanishing.

"That was some trip, wasn't it?" The security guard says as he grabs my hands behind my back and takes me from my room, leading me to the infirmary. I let myself be carried, feeling more tired than ever, not understanding what had just happened, not wanting to think about it, being afraid it would appear in front of my eyes again and this time I couldn't save her.

"I think I killed him..." I say very low, making it hard for him to hear.

"What? Look, save the talk to your therapist."