Cupid's Notes

#11 Diminution

Once I was blessed, blessed by your existence. The thought of you can linger in my mind, day after day, and you had no idea. Your voice was so sweet that ants crawled over my body, and I had to ignore the itchiness you caused. One soft touch could keep me from thinking about anything else, you were all that was on my mind. You drove me mad in a way no one else can, I went full-on bonkers for you.

Once we were the couple that everyone would call 'goals', people hanged our names on their conversations, we were the icon of love. We fell into dreamland and refused to wake, intoxicating ourselves with each other's affection. We could shower in the golden rays' of the sun and kiss until one of us cracks up smiling like an idiot. We were spoiled, so, so spoiled, in the name of love.

Once I was so blessed to the point that I felt scared.

Then I was broke, broke by your distances. You no longer called my name as soft as you used to, and no longer did I have expectations. You shoved me to the side when I needed you the most, yet brought me back and gave me hope when I was on the edge of giving up. Our memories sneaked through my head and rolled down my cheeks, as I wiped them away, I saw our reflections, and I couldn't bear the pain of erasing the only proof I had that you were mine.

Then we went on and off, people gossiping about what really happened, but deep down we know the rumors were never true. We engraved scars of words onto each other, ignoring the torment it caused. 'We' were too big of a term for both of us to carry, so we buried it into the mud, allowing it to rust through time, until we can't see what it used to be anymore.

Then I was so broke to the point I shattered.

Now I know, know how to survive this cruel world. The golden rule is to not trust anyone, and not allowing anyone to walk into you and roam free. I believed in you, yet you took my trust and crumpled it into a paper ball, no matter how hard I try to smooth out the wrinkles, it can never be the same again. You held my hand and brought me out into an unknown world, it was filled with sunshine and songbirds. Ignoring the darkening skies and my screams and yelps, you ruthlessly left me behind. I dragged my swollen limbs and found my way out, and swore to never turn back again.

Now I know how to build a wall and cage myself in it. It blocked all connections I had with the real world, but if it can stop the pain from pouring in, if it is the only defense I have against betrayal, then it is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Now I know enough to the point of not giving anyone the key to my heart.

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I know I said I will upload more frequently yet I didn't, I'm so sorry. There were some issues revolving around me and whenever I got home I didn't have the power to write anymore. I'm also experiencing some severe writer's block so this piece was somehow shorter. I mean I still like it but... I will organize myself as soon as possible and come back with more. Oh and also, I changed the book cover! Do you like it like this, or do you like the old one better?

Hope you are enjoying Cupid's Notes so far. :)