Hold on Till May

I wanna hold your hand so tight. (Chapter 5)

Erm, yeah this is pretty messed up and it's sexual so if you don't want to read it you don't have to. It won't be necessary because yup. You'll see, if you don't read it. Im sorry that my fanfic sucks so bad lolol

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"Stand up!" He yells at me. I can't feel my legs. The fear is building up as all the memories from my childhood are rushing at me like knives. "I SAID STAND UP, YOU FILTHY WHORE!" he yells again as his fist drills into the side of my face. I slowly drag my feet over so that I can raise myself up. He takes off my blindfold and stares into my eyes. Then he scans my body, touching me wherever he pleases. "Such a nice body," he laughs "can't wait to put it to use." he has his hand on my thigh and he's slowly moving it upwards, then stops when he gets close to my bra. He can see the fear in my eyes and he wipes away my tears. "Shhh, Alaina. It'll be okay, sweetheart. You don't have to be afraid."

He unlocks the handcuffs then turns me so that I'm facing the pole, then reattaches the handcuff but only so that one hand is attached. "Now, Alaina, I want you to dance for me." I'm so scared I don't want to move. But if I don't he'll probably hurt me. "NOW ALAINA! DO IT NOW!" I can't move. My whole body is shaking and I can't breathe. He drills his fist right into my rib cage and I collapse.

Then he picks me up and takes me over to a bed and ties me down. He gets over top of me and whispers in my ear "Remember this corner? This is the same corner from 3 years ago. But, you got away from me so I'm going to finish what I started. He began to take off my bra and I tried to get out from under him but he's too heavy. "Oh, sweetie. Have I ever told you what nice boobs you have? Even when you were younger. Oh my, I had to hold back my need for you when your mommy was around but not now. Now I can have you all to myself and no one can hear you scream." He began to take his shirt off and then took my shorts off which left me fully exposed. Then he took his shorts off, which left him fully exposed. He thrusted inside of me which only made me scream. It felt like he was tearing me apart. He wrapped his hand around my neck and told me not to make a sound.

And all I can hope for is that Vic realizes that I'm missing. I picture that I'm in a happy place instead of here, getting raped by a pig. I picture that I'm in Nathan's arms right now and we're cuddling and no one in the whole world can stop the love that we feel for each other. And he'll protect me as long as he's with me. Because he loves me. And in doing so I didn't even realize that he was done, and was already upstairs leaving me fully exposed in his torture room, tied to his filthy bed.

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I don't feel anything. I'm numb. I'm cold. I don't know how long It's been since he left. I just want to be with Nathan. Being completely stupid because that's what we always do. I want to be with Vic, figuring out what he's been doing in these 14 years. I want to be anywhere but here. I want to be listening to my favourite band on a roof somewhere. I feel so dirty, but not just physically, mentally too. And I'll never get rid of the filth that I feel. I just want to cry, I want to curl up into a ball and cry until I can't cry anymore. I want to scratch at my wrists until you can't see the skin anymore. All you will see are scratches, cuts and scars. And I want to take the blade and slice at my skin and watch as the blood spills out onto the floor.

What if Nathan doesn't look at me the same way? What if he hates me and wants to break up? Losing him would r- who am I kidding? My life is already ruined. I hate myself. This is the most I've ever hated myself. I feel like something is eating away at my heart and it hurts.

Hours pass by faster than seconds and I have no idea how long I've been missing for.

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I get woken up by his footsteps coming down the stairs. I think I've been here for two weeks but I'm not quite sure, I've slept for most of it. "Hi Alaina!" he smiles at me and I ignore him. "Now, now Alaina. I just want to tell you something. Your father never loved you. That's why he abandoned you. He never cared about you. He just wants to hurt you again. I'm trying to protect you." then he continued up the stairs, shut the door and I heard the faint locking sound.

At this point, I'm untied which let me freely walk around the room. I slowly made my way up the stairs, trying not to make a sound. I listened for any sign of him. Which I didn't hear one. I took a bobby pin out of my hair and began to pick the lock. Good thing I had practice. I made my way to the front door and ran outside. "I can not spend another night in this home!" I close my eyes, and take a breath real slow then I begin to run.

I know exactly where I'm going. I'm going home. I memorized every street name and counted the number of cracks in the side walk and watched as the flowers wilted as I touched them. I watched as the sky turned gray and then black, with anger as the rain pelted down and hit my skin like shattered glass, tearing me apart from every angle. And I'm climbing through every alley way, working my way back home and avoiding the main road so I won't be seen. I am a shadow in the darkness, never to be seen. My heart is on fire and I can feel my bones ignite. I'm burning inside. I've never felt so angry. I've never felt so alone.

I finally made it home and ignored anyone who tried to talk to me, I sat on my bed in the corner. I don't know how long I sat there but eventually Nathan came in. "Haley! Where have you been?!"

"Hell. I've been in Hell. With Heaven above you there's Hell over me."

I finally let my demons take over and I passed out. Maybe they'll let me sleep.

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Why did I start crying while reading this over? Is that allowed to happen? xD

Oh kay so I actually updated. Bye! I neeeeeed to know what you people think of this. Like should I even continue? bcuz it's pretty shitty lmao. Now, I didn't actually edit. I just spell checked. So, sorry if there are mistakes! (: ~Violet grr