Five Year Old Secret

Chapter two

  My head pounded along with my heart, keeping my body limp against the couch. The sweet smell of vanilla, from the cookies that baked, giving me a squeeze of warmth, a familiar calming warmth.

  My thoughts broke out, memories filled my head, the comfort of the numbness seemed tired of me. All my emotions wanted to jump out, but all I can do was remember...

  Him...

                      -Earlier-  

  They stared back at me, mouth slightly opened. A tension grew thicker, pressuring me to say something. My memories seemed to stir, the ones I tried hard to erase, to forget.

  "Do I know you guys?" An emotionless voice said. It didn't seem to care for what was currently happening. I should be afraid, relieved even, to see them again. Everything I wanted to say was being pushed back by my fear.

  Both of their eyes tangled with anger and sadness.

   I glanced towards the shortest of them, the guy who lend me his shoulder long ago, who held me when I was weak. His face matched his eyes for a split second but then returned to its normal state.

  I then looked beside him, the man who's jokes were my weakness, and food was my medicine, had eyes that carried sadness more than anything.

  "No." Replied the man who was one of my best friends. " I guess you don't."

  It seem like hours passed but really it was only mere minutes. A small tug pulled me away from the trance. I looked down at Jae who stared at me tiredly. "Can we go now?" He softly asked.

  "Yeah, let's go." I whispered, I quickly glanced towards the four guys. Two of them watched Jae, as he played with his toy. Both knowing the truth of a secret.

  'Seokjin and Yoongi, I'm sorry.' The words repeated, over and over in my head, the words that were written years ago. My final goodbye to them.

                  -Present-

  I was locked inside my mind, playing different scenarios of what could've happened. If it was him that saw me instead of them.

  "Itzel?" Blaise lightly shoved me, receiving my divided attention. "Don't be mad, okay?"

  I gave him a curious smile, sitting up to hear him out. "If the kitchen is dirty, you're in charge. Just clean it and I won't be mad, dummy. We can just get already baked cookies from the store if yall burnt them."

  All I received was a guilty, nervous smile, his fingers played against each other, a habit he picked up from me.  "Why did you react that way?" He whispered so softly I could've missed his words.

  "I didn't know how to react." I said, leaning against him. His usual relaxed body was tensed. "Are you tensed?"

  He layed his body onto the couch, pushing me off. "Nah, it's a game of freeze tag." He mumbled.

  "Who's it?" I asked unsure of his statement.

  His hazel eyes locked on mine, a smirk grew on his face as he said "Your dirty secret, it's waiting to stop being it, Itzel. It's catching up to you."

  I sighed, sitting on the floor. It's not like I'll see them again. I've lost track of them, gave up keeping up with everything they were up to. Last I heard they were invited to some show in the states.

  "That's not it, you have something else to say." I said, looking up to him. He had to have done something. Something that I wouldn't agree on.