The Pursuit of Felicity

{ Chapter 3 }

Believe it or not, I'm not really a fan of affection. I don't like hugs and I definitely don't like kisses. So you probably have an idea how I feel being pinned underneath Karla with her lips sucking the air from my lungs. I wouldn't mind if it weren't for the fact that it's been 20 minutes. She's a sweet girl, don't get me wrong, but I don't like kissing or cuddling, nor do I want a relationship, so I'm starting to question why I'm even coming here in the first place.

She snuggles up against my chest and I stare at her ceiling, feeling slightly annoyed. I hinted at my intentions over text message just the other day. I'll admit, I could've been more direct, but when she asked what I was looking for, I said 'nothing too serious.' I thought that was enough to get my feelings across but I guess not. 

"Hey, Karla," I start in a slightly hesitant manner. She peeks up at me with a content smile on her lips and I know I'm going to wipe it off. "I have an 8AM tomorrow and I still have homework."

"Okay..." She pushes herself into a sitting position. Like I predicted, the smile on her face wavers before coming back weakly. I feel slight guilt as I adjust my shirt and get off of her bed. Maybe I should be mature and tell her that I'm not feeling this and that I'm not a relationship kind of girl. As I'm slipping on my shoes and contemplating, she clears her throat. "When are we hanging out again?"

"When I get my work schedule, I'll let you know." The lie slides between my teeth shakily as I shift my focus to putting on my sweater. I work the same days every week. I just don't know how to break the news to her that I have no intentions of hanging out again. I open the door to her dorm and nod at her. "I'll see you." This is yet another lie. I have no intention of seeing her again.

Call me an asshole or rude or a jerk but you can't blame me this time. She specifically said in her text, 'My roommate got the flu and went home for the rest of the week. Do you want to come over? ;).' You can't blame me for making assumptions. She said she had the room to herself and sent a winky face. I assumed we'd go further than awkwardly kissing while Gossip Girl serves as background noise.

I start back in the direction of my apartment while repressing the urge to groan aloud. Now it's midnight and I have to go back to my empty bed and sleep. I think about how unsatisfactory everything is at the moment. Rex and Danny aren't fulfilling my needs. Karla definitely isn't doing anything for me. I feel like there's a hole in my chest that I can't seem to fill no matter how hard I try. I shove the thought to the back of my mind as I hightail it to my apartment.

I enter the living room and discover Mel and Gen watching television. Their eyes are lock onto me as I flop onto the couch tiredly. "How's Karla?" I offer a shrug in response to Gen's wondering.

"You know what that means." Mel's usual sour puss is plastered on her face as she tugs lightly at the strings in her blanket. "On to the next."

"Well...she's not wrong," I concur after Gen nudges her leg in hopes of getting our friend to calm her attitude.

"She's that bad?" A little frown lines her curious face.

"No, she's nice. I think she's trying to establish a relationship with me. I'm just already bored." An oversimplification paired with an exhausted exhale.

"Maybe you should give dating a try." Mel's back at it again with her passive aggressiveness. "You know, like actual dating and not just sleeping around."

Knowing it'll get an annoyed reaction from her, I turn down half of my mouth and shake my head. "Nah..." My casual decline emits an eye roll from her.

"Are you at least going to tell her you're no longer interested?" After taking in my awkward expression, she shakes her head. "Wow, Fee."