Why single?

Chapter 7

You always bothered me everytime, even in the library.
I was not good when socializing but when I am with you I am someone beyond my personality
You change me a lot. Do you remember when we were at the beach sitting at the white sand? You are the only person whom I showed the real me. Tell you my story and my secret as well.
But what I am confused about, you never did tell me yours.When I asked you, you just answered 'there is nothing fun with my story just a normal life' so I did'nt bother you asking that again. We spent time together for almost a month and I guess the boundaries I've build has gone. Because you did it. Now you won -- you all won. The old me has vanished and burned into ashes.
But do hope that by changing me like this would'nt cause the worst nightmare I will bear with the rest of my whole life.
You said that I am different from others you met.
We spend the whole day so lovingly as we held our hands so tightly. I dont know what I am to you but I assume that were something in a relationship.
Your sweet gesture and sweet talks makes my heart beat fast.
The sunset arise and I was amaze its beauty. I uttered the word 'wow' and yet I didnt notice you were staring at me. I smiled so brightly and suddenly your lips parted mine. At first I was shocked and can't move my body but when you go beyond that kiss I pushed you away, you told me you like me not as a friend but to be your girlfriend. But I answered you 'No' because I am afraid to be hurt again. I did explain to you but what I've got is you told the painful words.
Those words are the same in the past that I think I already heard. Those words still banging on my head and it kills me like stabbing my chest a hundred times.
I beg you that I am very sorry and I told you the reason why yet you can't understand it, all you want is what you said must be followed. I am not a toy nor someone there who would say yes if you ask it in a simple way.
I knelt down in front of you just to ask you not to go away and also to be bestfriend instead but you did'nt. You pushed me away.
"Then I guess this is over. She is right! your selfish and cold hearted. You're just a weak. You let your past ruined you. There are people willing to be with you yet you never gave them the same. Who are you? you're not that pretty and gorgeous. Your just an ugly duckling not outside but also inside. And then you act like your that pret--" you told me but I cut you when I slapped you in the face. I know I am not that pretty as someone else but still I have the right because I am still a human.Your right I am weak.