Let Go || BTS x READER [COMPLETE]

1. Despression

The feeling of emptiness fills me as I lie down on my bed trying to forget everything that ever happened to me ever since I was born.

All my other feelings hidden in a safe, buried under a place marked 'X' waiting for someone to dig it up and release everything that I've been hiding for years.

Feeling numb, my specialty. My past hurt me way too much that I don't even think about living anymore.

Suicide was always the answer to my problems, seeing it as the only way to get out of it; seeing that you're dead means that your problems become someone else's problem.

A blade always in my hand wanting to feel a different kind of pain. Always trying to find ways of feeling something again, but pain was always there.

"(Y/N) where are you? Please... comeback. I need you..." my younger sister not getting enough of texting me. She's probably still in high school but I don't actually know anymore.

Someone must've given her my number and ate first, I replied to her, but when I found out that it was her I stopped. I didn't block her number becausebI still care about her only a tiny bit.

I left home after everything had happened and ever since then, it was my little sister and baby brother together.

Soon after living alone little voices invaded my head making me grip my hair in frustration wanting them to shut up.

Them telling me that everything was my fault. That everything happened because of me. Afraid that I would do the same to my sister.

I always stay home not wanting to converse with anyone, but I always try to find the courage to go to work to pay for my college.

I have no friends and trust is not in my vocabulary. I did not trust anyone, the number one reason why I didn't have friends.

I was always the 'weirdo' in school but I'm really not. I'm just alone because of issues and I only looked gothic because of my emotions.

Every time I walk down the hallways the other students would always move away from me, talk about me, or even pretend to 'not watch where they're going'

No one would try to converse with me unless we had a project together, and, in that case I do the project by myself only sending it to them after so that they don't talk to me.

Everyone in school knows that I do that and they would always 'cheer' when I'm part of their group.

I don't really care anymore. I know that they're only using me, but like I said, I don't care.

My life consisting of lies, and pain but I don't care. Everything was my fault from the start anyway. What the fuck was the point of me trying to fix everything if I'm just going to die soon anyways.

I continue to stare at the ceiling, trying to forget everything, again. All those faults have been stuck in my head for years and I saw it as something I could fix, but thats what I thought. The pain is still the same, for the last 8 years.

For the last 8 years, I've always tried, to fix everything to be better, but my problems just wouldn't disappear.
.
.
.