Adopted|BTS FF|

To Forgive or Forget?

Again, I was in the darkness. I looked ahead of me and a light shining down on a oak door with vines and flowers caught my attention. I walked towards it and tried to open it by the handle. It didn't budge. I then took a step back and then pushed myself into the door with as much strength as I could muster up.

However, right when my shoulder came in contact with the door, the door swung open and I fell. I shut my eyes tightly as I waited for me to hit the ground but that never came. Hesitantly, I opened my eyes and saw that I was in the air. I wasn't falling which shocked me, however I noticed how the clouds and birds passed by me as I slowly floated higher up.

I continued floating up and I couldn't help but shut my eyes as I was being blinded by what I thought to be the sun. Suddenly I landed onto a cloud. I gasped as it was as soft and light as cotton candy. I heard laughter and voices ahead of me which caused me to look up.

There in front of me was large golden gates surrounded by light pink, light yellow, and white clouds. Through the spaces in the gates I could see many people milling about. One couple talking to a group of people caught my eye. They all looked oh so familiar.

The lady turned her head a bit as she laughed and I gasped. It was mom. Without thinking, I ran towards them. The gates had opened as I ran and I ran right through until I made it to my mother. I didn't stop running and kept going until I had ended up tackling us both down.

As we fell, I held her tight as I cried into her shoulder. She seemed surprised and shocked but once she got a good look of my face she smiled. She began to calm me down before she stood us up. She held me by my shoulders and asked, " What're you doing here sweetie? It's not your time. "

I couldn't help but sigh and ask, " But why can't I stay with you? " She shook her head and said, " Because, there are people who need you right now. And you need them. We all failed to take care of you, and so we want you to stay until it's your time. "

I gave her a questioning look and asked, " What do you mean we? Isn't it just you and dad? " She shook her head and said, " No, all of your siblings tried their best at getting you somewhere safe because they blamed themselves. " I shook my head in denial and she smiled lightly at me before turning me around.

When I turned around, I saw all five of my older siblings who gave me apologetic looks. I frowned and asked, " Then why did you blame me? " My eldest brother walked up to me and hugged me tightly. I couldn't help but begin crying again as a feeling of warmth and protection engulfed me. He had always managed to be the one I could've trusted but he had broken that.

He sighed and said, " We didn't want to blame you, we blamed ourselves too much to where it seemed as if everyone was at fault. We tried our best to make sure you were treated nicely but we failed. Please, please forgive us. We can't bear to see you hurt because of us. "

I laughed through my tears and couldn't help but nod and say, " I forgive you. I was just waiting for a reason. " Soon all of my other siblings also gave me hugs and their apologies. However, we were interrupted by my father who had us break the hug.

He walked up to me and said, " I know this is a lot for you, but you have to go. There are people waiting for you who need you the most. They need your forgiveness. They need you even though it seems as if they hate you, they're just too scared to lose you. "

I shook my head and said, " No, no one cares about me. I bet they're happy for me to be gone. " He shook his head and held my hand to bring me somewhere. We walked and we were soon in front of a screen. He pressed some buttons and soon I saw the familiar faces of the guys and Yuri appear.

I could see Jin who was crying so hard that he was running out of breath. Even though he was crying, I could still perfectly hear his voice as he apologized multiple times and as he continued to say what he should've done. I couldn't help but tear up a bit at his words.

I could also see the others. Yoongi and Yuri were both crying silently and both had looks of great guilt on their faces. Namjoon was trying his best not to cry his heart out as he tried his best to comfort Jin. Hoseok was also silently crying as he also tried his best to calm down Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook who were all hysterically crying their hearts out in a small circle. I could see and hear all of their regrets, sorrows, and apologies.

Soon the screen turned off and I was just looking back at myself who now had tears falling down my face. I looked up at father who gave me a look that I couldn't quite understand as he held my shoulder and said, " You see, they need you. And I can tell that you need them. Go, go while you have the chance. Go before you run out of time. "

I thought about it for a few seconds and nodded before I asked, " How, how do I go back? " He smiled and told me to close my eyes. Once my eyes were closed, I could feel his lips and they gave me a kiss on the head. I could hear his faint voice say open and when I did, I was falling gently to the ground.

Once my feet hit the soft earth, a sense of power made me begin to run as fast as I possibly could. I ran and ran until I had somehow ended up in a hospital. My feet carried me somewhere in the hospital and I ended up in a room full of doctors and nurses working on a familiar body.

I walked up closer as I saw one doctor doing CPR onto what was my body. Without thinking, I put my hand out and and gently touched the area where the doctor was doing CPR on. As I did that, I was soon consumed in darkness again. I heard many voices and sounds that gave me different feelings with each and every different one.

Suddenly, a strong wind blew by me and I stumbled. I fell and right as I was about to hit the floor...

.

.

.

I slowly fluttered opened my eyes that felt as if there were weights that held them down. I tried to lift my left hand to try and rub away any tiredness that remained in my eyes, but I couldn't move it. I looked down to see Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook all sitting there with their heads resting on my left arm as they were sleeping. I could also see a sleeping Hoseok sitting next to a sleeping Yoongi who had his head rested on the younger's shoulder.

I turned my head to the right, which hurt like hell, to see an exhausted Jin who was holding onto my hand as he fell in and out of sleep. Behind him I saw an even more exhausted Namjoon, who was sleeping, and Yuri who was sitting next to him passed out.

I sighed. I had caused all of this. I had caused all of this trouble for them. I had caused all of these tears and all of this pain. Why? How?

I didn't notice the tear that fell from my eye and landed onto Jin's hand that held mine. He immediately jolted up and out of his state. He quickly looked at me and when he did, his eyes watered as he let choked out a silent sob. Without thinking, I hugged him as tightly as I could as I cried along with him.

I cried into his broad shoulder as he cried into mine. My right arm was wrapped around his back and his arms were holding onto me so gently yet with enough strength that it was almost as if he thought I'd fly away if he'd let go ever so slightly.

After a few minutes of crying, we both broke apart and wiped away our tears. He smiled at me and let out a short laugh that needed to be let out. I smiled at him before I lifted my hand up to his head. I pushed his head down so he was resting it on my right thigh and I said, " Sleep, you need it. "

He was about to deny but I gave him a look which quickly shut him up. I couldn't help but let my fingers lightly go through his hair as he fell asleep. I sighed as I took another look around at everyone even though it hurt just to move a bit.

Did I make the right choice to come back? Will I be able to forgive? Will I be able to forget? But which one is harder? To forgive or forget?