Behind the Suit, Behind the Smile

Chapter Two

As soon as Oliver heard about me being paralyzed he came to STAR Labs. I thought it was really sweet of him to drop by. And sexy. Mmmmmm that man is sexy.

     He helped me get back on my feet, and he caught me whenever I was about to fall. He's really strong.

   Quit blabbing. You just go on and on and on, about how you just loooovve him, but he'd never like you back. You know that, right?

   Yes, of course I know that.

   Go to the bathroom. Get your only real friend.

   Okay.

   "Hey guys, I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be back," I said.

   "Do you need me to walk with you so you don't fall?" Oliver said.

   "Nah I think I've got it. Thanks, though," I said.

   So I started walking, and when I got to the bathroom I took one of the razors out of one of the showers here. I threw it on the ground and stepped on it until the plastic broke and I heard the tiny little 'cling' of the metal slightly dropping and lay to a rest on the floor. I picked it up without hesitation as the tears started falling down my face.

     One, two, three......seven, eight, nine.......fifteen, sixteen........twenty four, twenty five......thirty seven....fourth nine......fifty two.

     Loud banging broke my daze.

     "Barry, let me in," Oliver said through the door. "Now"

     "What, why?"

     "Because there's blood leaking through the bottom of the door and it's coming from your side so let me in now!"

    "Hang on, just a second," I said nervously. I cleaned it all up off the floor with my super speed, but I have no idea how to deal with my arm and the 52 cuts spread across it. I didn't have time to think about that though because as soon as I finished cleaning up the floor, he kicked the door open.

    I jumped back because it scared the hell out of me. He walked straight up to me and looked me in the eyes, and I kid you not, I physically flinched. He grabbed my left hand and turned my arm over. He gasped and I thought I could've sworn I heard him choke up.

    "Why, the EVERLOVING FUCK, would you do something like this to yourself?!" He screamed at me.

    "I-I'm sorry," I said in a small voice, afraid that the man Im in love with is going to hurt me.

     I started breathing heavily, but it felt like I wasn't breathing at all. Like I couldn't breath at all.

     No. Not here. Not now. He already figured out one secret, he can't figure out this one too!

     "Barry?" Oliver asked. His voice was no longer angry and loud and booming. It was soft and quiet and cautious.

     As much as I wanted to look him in the eyes, as much as I wanted to tell him that I'm fine, I couldn't. I couldn't talk. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I went weak. That's why my knees buckled. That's why I almost fell to the ground. That's why Oliver had caught me and slowly sank to the ground with me in his arms. And that's how Oliver and I ended up on the bathroom floor, with my legs on either side of his legs, my head buried deep in the crook of his neck, and him holding onto me tightly, as if he thought that if he let go, I'd fade away into nothing.

     But my breathing didn't get better. And now I was crying. I took my head out of the crook of his neck , and struggled against his arms that are holding me tight until he let me go. And when he let go I fell on my back and rolled off of him. I started tearing at my neck with my nails, desperate for air. Oliver, rushing to my side and picking me up bridal style. Yet, still I was scratching, clawing, as if it would help the oxygen flow back into my lungs. And that is the last thing I remember before I pass out.