Behind the Suit, Behind the Smile

Chapter Seven

I didn't hear the sound of a breach opening up behind me, or the heavy footsteps running towards me. I guess I was too focused on wanting to die, too focused on how I finally worked up the courage to let go.

When I let go of the rail it was only a second or two. I leaned forward, but my feet hadn't left the ledge yet. I felt a firm grip on my right arm. A grip the pulled me upright, then another arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me up and over the railing of the bridge and into safety.

When I struggled for the mystery person to let me go I eventually gave up. I sank down to the floor on my knees. They sank down with me. I started to cry. Crying turn into sobbing. And sobbing turned into screaming. The realization hit me like a freight train. The realization was : I couldn't even kill myself right.

       "AH I HATE MYSEL-L-F" I broke off into a sob. "I CANT EVEN DIE RIGHT!"

       The arms around my waist tightened a little bit, but it didn't hurt. I felt another pair of hands on my shoulders. I opened my eyes and Cisco was right in front of me.

      "Hey, hey. It's okay. We got you," he said in a comforting voice.

      I stayed there crying for a good 10 minutes before I worked up the courage to look behind me and see who had saved me. To no surprises it was Oliver. I leaned back into him.he let me fall back to where my head was resting on his legs. I looked at the night sky. I could've died, but he saved me. Cisco saved me. If they really didn't care, they would have let me fall.

        I sat there and silently cried. I have people that care.

       And I think the worst thing was knowing that they cared. Because it was all I wanted. I always said to myself "If anyone cared, I'd be different. I wouldn't be this way. I wouldn't want to die". But I realized that I had those people. And then I realized with horror, it didn't matter to me. I still wanted to die.

Did you really think I'd let my flash boo bear die?😂😂 I know that it's short, and I'm sorry that they've been short lately, but I'm trying😂😂 thank you for all your patience. I really appreciate it💞🙃