The Cursed Road Between Them

18| journey

hey loveths,

I know I practically disappeared for two weeks without giving you guys my promised regular updates. I came to a standstill and didn't know what to write. I was also struggling a lot with my mental health and I still am except now I'm trying. But anyways, here's chapter 18.

spoiler alert: you'll find another puzzle piece in this chapter.

word count: 1,060

DALILEH VENTURED ON journey towards a place where cold waters and palm trees are being blown by the wintry breeze as storm clouds drive closer to shore at a snail's pace.

Egon is by her side holding her hand in the pocket of his jacket. At the time he reasoned that "It's to make sure you stay warm." Dalileh had softly smiled at the gesture and accepted it with grace. The empty sight of a beach on a winter's day is strange yet hypnotic with the tranquility that possesses the perfectly aligned elements in front of them. There's no soul in sight and so Dalileh leads them towards the shadowed sand that's shrouded in grey tones. 

Egon follows wordlessly as they stroll along the shore swaying their bound hands in the air back and forth. She notices the palpable presence of silence and looks directly at Egon with a questioning expression. He gives a small smile before sighing to speak, "Have you visited Omar lately?"

Dalileh answers with a murmur that transforms into her fumbling to explain, "No, the last time was a few days ago... it slipped my mind. I...I didn't want him seeing me like this."

"Like what?" he responds inquisitively.

"Getting better while he never can," she whispers with her eyes trained on the sand. Their hands have stopped swaying and they've stopped walking which causes their shoes to slightly sink into the damp sand as waves wash up underneath them.

Egon embraces Dalileh in a hug as he says, "You know he would only ever want you to be happy."

"How can you be so sure? I-I'm the reason he's dead," she begins with assurance threading through every word as she steps back from his embrace while the guilt begins to flood through the dam walls she's been building. Egon keeps the distance she's placed, not wanting to cause her any more panic and trying to avoid her running away. 

"It wasn't your fault Dalileh. We both know it was the other driver's fault," he says convincingly. 

Dalileh shakes her head with the strengthening wind and chilliness causing a mess of her hair as it whips her face back and forth. Tears are rushing down her face but they aren't visible from the hair strands that covers it so bashfully. The crying girl can tell that he's restraining himself from stepping towards her, knowing she'll move away. "I w-was the on-one driving. I could've done more. I should've protected him," she weeps breathlessly.  

She makes eye contact with him, for a split minute she begins to admire the brown and dull golden specks which fill his eyes wonderfully; overflowing with unfound potential and undug hope. Sometimes when she pays attention to her reflection she sees none of which she notices in his eyes and it washes hopelessness over her thoughts. She is not bound to any certain future, especially when her dreams are as translucent as the water she looks at. There's nothing left to do except protect the soul in front of her; it's this epiphany that causes her tears to cease and dry from the heavy winds. Dalileh places her arm outwards and grasps his, pulling him towards her into an embrace; the smallness and fragility which she feels in his arms provide warmth to her heart. 

With his head resting atop of hers he murmurs, "You don't even remember what specifically happened. I'm at fault as well."

At this she tilts her head sideways resting it upon his shoulder, "You weren't driving. I should've paid more attention. I should've quit. I remember everything."

She can feel him looking at her when he asks softly, "When?"

"It started two weeks after it. After a few weeks, it eventually pieced itself together."

"I'm sorry, I should've been there for you." 

"I forgive you. I'm sorry as well, sometimes it's really hard."

"I know lovely but I'm here for you now okay? How about we go eat something? Unless you have more to say" Egon says calmly. 

Dalileh lifts her head slightly replying with a slight shake of her head, "No, let's go eat."

He holds her hand again with a questioning look in order to affirm if the move he's made is okay with Dalileh. She squeezes his hand comfortingly to assure him as the move off the beach with wet shoes from the waves which have begun to rise upon the shore. Before the silence can tantalise them Dalileh makes the effort of creating conversation. "Haven't you been going to school?" she asks while lifting a stray piece of hair to place it behind her ear. 

Egon briefly glances at her before shrugging as he forms a reply, "No I haven't. I stopped going a day or two after you got suspended." His voice lowers gradually as he continues, "People staring and whispering like I'm famous..."

"Did they do something to you?" Dalileh implores attentively when she notices the change in tone.

"It was nothing that bad really, you've dealt with worse. They just sprayed my locker. Something about how I should be in prison" he explains nonchalantly, ending it with a nervous laugh. Dalileh isn't fooled by his reaction and her heart sinks uneasily at the thought that the torture that she endured being passed onto him. They reach a warm-looking restaurant and step inside; a waiter greets and seats them politely but Dalileh can only focus on the sadness deeply washing around her insides. She gazes at Egon with unspilt apologies covering her eyes; she wants to apologise but instead, she holds onto his hand like a life buoy thrown over her. 

He orders on her behalf and when the waiter leaves, Egon comments, "Please don't apologise, this isn't your fault. I wish you'd let me bare some of your pain but even when you do... you somehow push more upon yourself. I love you and I'd rather all of it be blamed on me rather than blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault."

There's a finality to what he says and Dalileh can only respond with, "I love you like the ocean loves the water."