HELPLINE

TWO

T W O // H E N R Y

"Oh," I said, unable to keep the surprise out of my voice. "You actually rang us. Huh."

Shania, my colleague and only friend, grins wickedly at me and turns the page of her Arthur Miller book.

We're all intellectuals in this office, you know.

The voice at the end of the phone stammers a bit. "Well - well... the ratio was off!"

I rolled my eyes. "You've got a cute voice, darling, but who the fuck actually rings these things? I mean, I've been working here for a while and the only time anyone ever rings is if they've found, like a dead animal in their cereal or something. Not that that's ever happened - "

Mercifully, I am cut off from my rambling by the boy on the other end of the phone. "Cute voice?"

"Attractive. Sexy. Actually, maybe not sexy-"

"Henry," Shania stated, and I jumped slightly, trying to look apologetic. "Right. Look, babes, d'you have anything to say or can I just tell you to fuck off without you suing me-"

"Henry!"

I wince slightly and make a face at Shania. There is more stammering from the boy.

"I didn't actually ring to talk about the cereal," he says miserably. "I rang because I was lonely."

"That was kind of a given-"

I automatically stop halfway through my sentence for the reprieve from Shania, but she has determinedly stuffed in her iPod headphones and buried her face so deep in the Crucible her nose is brushing the page.

"My cat died," the guy says.

"Y'know," I told him, "I couldn't really care less."

"You're supposed to care. It's your job. You run a helpline."

"FOR A CEREAL."

There is a long pause.

Then:

"I'm Isaac."

"Henry Waters. It's not a pleasure to not make your acquaintance, pal."

"That's a double negative-"

"So what kind of cat was she?"

--------------------------------

a.n: edited 27/06/15: no longer in all lower case. i think that probably has some big metaphorical meaning

for @EnglishDrama cos she's a cool kid

lucy
xox