They Saved Me.

I Can't Do it

Trigger warning. Go at your own pace and caution.

=^Mitch's P.O.V.^=

I woke up to a bright light in my eye. I lifted my hand to cover my eyes. I realized I had a HUGE migraine. I reached over to my nightstand to grab my phone, only to find my hand touching some pills. I looked up and saw a glass of water and some Tylenol.

Jerome must've left them for me.

As soon as I thought that I realized that there was a weight over me that I wasn't used to. I turned over only to be met with Jerome's face. It was so close to mine.

Kiss him

You can't. He's not yours to kiss.

I quickly got up only to make my head worse in the process. I reach over and grab the glass and take the pills.

Why was he so close?

I grabbed my phone next and checked the notifications. I had some texts.

Sarah:  Hey you alright? You haven't been on in a bit. You've also missed a day of uploading.

Lachlan:   Pokemon? Yes?

I replied to those texts with generic replies of being sick and having to pick up Jerome from the airport. I also sent out a tweet explain why I didn't upload yesterday. With the same excuse of being sick.

I fully got up and put of bed. I went to the bathroom and turned on the sink. I soaked my face with the water a couple times to help me wake up. I've check my phone again for the time.

7:52 pm

I'm was too late in the day to do most anything. I looked over at my bed and I see Jerome. Sweet Jerome. The love of my life. And he'll never know. He's still sleeping, so I know I have time before he wakes up. I close the bathroom door and lock it. I reach into my vanity and pull out my first aide box. I sit on the edge of the tub with it and open it up.

Why am I doing this? I haven't needed it in a long time. Why now?

Caren

Right.

I stare at the contents of that box for a few minutes before I grab out the packet that hold my razors. I hold them in my hand as I set the rest of the box down on the floor. As I hold these razors in my hands I think of all the things I feel. Sadness, anger, regret, emptiness, bliss. It always leads to this. Me staring at them. Most times not doing anything but think. Think of the relief I'd feel by just doing it. I so desperately want to grab the razor and cut open the skin on my body. Feel the blood drip and roll down. The more I think of it the more I want it.

I start to take out the blade from its package. I stare at it before I bring it up to my side. I lift my shirt and press the blade to my skin. I press harder and I draw in a quick breath.

*BANG*

That loud bang scared me. So much that I accidentally cut myself anyway. I think I made a sound, but I'm not sure. I quickly put everything back where it belongs and stick a bandage to my side before pulling my shirt over it. I get up, flush the toilet, and open the door.

=^Jerome's P.O.V.^=

As I was waking up I became aware of what was and wasn't around me. For instance I could feel the covers over my body. But what I couldn't feel was Mitch beside me. I opened my eyes and looked around. Everything seemed the same as it was last night except the water was almost gone and so were the pills. I started to get up onto my elbows and noticed that the bathroom door was closed. I tried getting up from the bed but my body was sore from carrying Mitch upstairs, so it took me a couple tries. I finally was able to get into a sitting position when I heard a small gasp come from the bathroom. I got up to got to the bathroom but my legs gave out. As I was falling I accidentally knocked over the lamp on his nightstand. I then heard a sound that broke my heart. I heard him gasp in pain. I quickly got up and walked to the bathroom door and got to the door as I heard the toilet lush. I went to grab the door knob when the door opened. I looked at Mitch. 

He looked so tired. He had bags under his eyes and he was so very pale. He angled his left side away from me. I just looked at him without moving. 

"You alright Jerome? You're just standing there." He looks like he's trying not to bring attention to himself. And I know why he didn't want to bring attention to himself. 

It surprised me when I walked up to him. It surprised me when I looked him in his eyes. And it surprised me when I grabbed him and pulled him into me. It killed me inside to know that he felt the need to do what he does. Holding him next to me, having him in my arms, I started breaking down. I was sobbing into his shoulder. I think I surprised him with my actions. cause it was only when I started crying that he wrapped his arms around me and let free his tears. 

I can't live with out you. It's not possible for me to do that. I'm staying right here and I'm never leaving you. 

I love you Mitch.