Dead And Alive

Weeping Doll

"What a way to mourn for my brother."

"Relax, N. We're not gonna be caught."

"Silence would be nice right now. Now's not the time for complaining, Doll."

I have no idea why I let myself be dragged here. A few hours ago, I was lying in a hospital bed, with no motivation or energy to stand up.
But these pair of jerks came waltzing in my hospital room, and pulled me outside at 10 P.M at night, while I'm not yet done grieving. I don't even have the energy to protest. I'm mad, and sad and I don't care where they drag me.

I was brought to the nearest hospital after receiving the call. Grace said that I blacked out and my "friend", Zion- or Lance, called a taxi and brought me there. I don't have any details as to what happened next.

I don't have the courage to go and look at Jae. I was supposed to protect Jae. I was supposed to watch over my brother. But I was careless. I am aware that depression and anxiety is eating him, little by little. I'm not blaming Megara, but why did she have to say all those horrible things to Jae? If only he wasn't reminded of it. He was already moving on. And now he's dead.

Dead by suicide, they said. Hanged himself.

I don't know what to think. What to do. What to say. I know I have to go see Jae.

"Doll? The fuck you doing there, standing like a dumb shit? Come on in." Von ordered like it's his house. He held the yellow police tape up, waiting for me to go underneath it. Lance is already inside, pacing cautiously.

I whipped my head at Von's direction. This jerk that Lance met is the son of the well-known private detective. God knows who, he just introduced himself like that. He and Lance came barging a little while ago and dragged me back here, in our house. They told me we're going to investigate.

In the middle of the goddamn night.

Normal people don't do that.

He said he'd explain later, and I honestly don't know if I can trust this guy, when we literally just met a few hours ago. Lance was no better. I just met him two weeks ago. I think the effect of Jae's death dumbed my head.

I hesitantly ducked and entered, with Von following. It's a bit awkward, walking around in a humid night, only wearing a hospital gown, Lance's too-big muddy white shoes, and an oversized hoodie that Von lent me. Grace has no idea where I am, all she knows is I'm resting in the hospital. She's currently staying in my grandmother's house, because she says she can't bear to be near this house anymore.

It's been almost two weeks, and the house was untouched.

The street lamps shone through the closed curtains of the house, illuminating the portraits hanging from the wall. It looks desolate. It made my stomach churn, like when you remember a place, thing, or person that you love so much but you realize you can't have it anymore or can't go back to them anymore. That ugly feeling.

Two weeks. I missed two weeks of lessons and club activities too.

Am I still a student.

"Hey Nier? You haven't said anything since we got you out. Are you okay? Do you want to go back?" Lance asked, concern evident from his eyes.

"If you could just stop asking Doll every 6 minutes, then maybe she'll be okay. It's starting to get annoying." Von strolled past us, as he gave me a pat on the back. He headed straight to the kitchen and started opening cupboards.

But isn't it illegal.

Does he even have a warrant.

Well whatever. We probably won't live in this house after this anyways. And it's not like we have anything valuable here.