you make my day | soonhoon ✓

n i n e

YMMD // 09
☁️☀️☁️

soonyoung is having his time with his journal again, all curled up at the corner of his bed, just writing whatever comes to his mind. it's this kind of a mental exercise to keep his brain active while it makes his heart feel at ease. his bedroom door opens, and his father peeks to check up on him. "do you not have school today?"

soonyoung shakes his head, "i don't. why are you asking?"

"i'm just wondering," his dad mutters and walks to sit down at the near corner of the bed "have you been doing great?"

"well, yes."

"still no girlfriend to introduce, soonyoung?"

soonyoung bites his lower lip, "don't need one."

"why, are you gay?" his father asks, and then laughs out loud as if it's the funniest joke he had ever told. soonyoung feels quite offended but he manages to play it off anyway. it's normal for his dad to express his hatred for the gay community through subtle or completely offensive jokes. "how do you know you're not attracted to women if you've never been with one?" his dad adds

"dad, that's very insensitive for you to say."

"it was a joke, chill out. either way i hope you find a girl soon! such a waste of a fine man, kwon soonyoung."

"someone who isn't attracted to girls sexually isn't a waste, dad," soonyoung mutters. he feels sad that the world is still sadly, but decidedly, a heteronormative place. and he would have to bear the weight of hiding such a big part of himself until he decides to tell the truth. he flinches when his father gives him a pat on the shoulder, before leaving and telling him that he'll be out until tomorrow afternoon.

soonyoung feels even more frustrated. the universe is going too harsh on him, isn't it? he decides to look for other things to think about, and then frowns once he remembers. jihoon didn't reply to my text earlier, he sighs as he lets the pencil slide through the paper. he thinks it shouldn't be a huge deal.

jihoon is a busy person, and he doesn't necessarily have to reply to a simple message saying i love you. but soonyoung is overthinking again, and jihoon is that thought that sends him tripping into places he didn't want to go to.

soonyoung just wants to be home, but it seems like his mind is already home to thinking constantly. this is both his familiarity and oblivion seeping into his insides, making him feel sick as if he's constantly falling. he cannot understand whether it was the overflowing thoughts of jihoon that pushed him to fall or it's him who decided to jump off from the edge. either way, he's hanging a million feet in the air without someone to catch him. and it wouldn't really hurt until he reaches the pavement.

☁️☀️☁️

"soonie? are you there?" he hears jihoon's voice followed by three knocks. soonyoung hides the journal under his pillow and hastens out to open the door for his friend. jihoon smiles and shows his the bag of food he decided to bring, "is your father home? look what i have for you!"

"you really didn't have to," soonyoung shies away "and dad just left a bit earlier."

jihoon furrows his brows, "well okay i'll just eat everything then-"

"i'm kidding, give me that," soonyoung snatches the bag and makes his way back to the room, while jihoon removes his shoes to place them neatly on the shoe rack. then he runs to make a fall into the bed, "ah, i'm so tired today!"

"did you have fun with cheol?" soonyoung asks with a bit of bitterness in his tone

"we actually rushed and finished things off quickly," the younger replies, "the festival is in a few days, we have to be prepared for it."

"are we still going to come together or are you going to spend time with him?" soonyoung sits on the swivel chair and starts eating. jihoon rolls off the bed and goes to shake his friend's shoulders, "of course i'm going with you, what do you think?!"

"i mean, you're going to perform with him so i thought-"

"no no no," jihoon cuts him off "i'm making time for us. isn't that what you wanted?"

"why do you always make it seem like i'm a needy girlfriend or something? it's disturbing," soonyoung chuckles and tries to push jihoon away

"are you not needy?"

"fuck no. get out of my house."

"since mister kwon is out, i'm sleeping here again, too bad," jihoon playfully sticks his tongue out, "you didn't want me to leave so soon earlier so i'm spending another night with you. how's that?"

soonyoung sighs. he thinks it's wrong that he's getting to sleep with his friend with a whole different perspective, when he shouldn't be having any of those "thoughts". it just can't be helped though. he loves jihoon, and he wants him. he needs him, and that's what scary.

jihoon connects his phone to a bluetooth speaker and puts his player on shuffle. troye sivan's "for him" comes first and it makes jihoon smile in an instant. "i love this," he cheers and runs to drag soonyoung off the chair as he sings the first few lines out loud. "dance with me!"

soonyoung rejects the offer, but it just made jihoon scream at his face. "you're a fucking dancer right? show your moves, coward!" the older one continues to laugh, then he finally stands up to hold jihoon's hands and spin themselves around.

"you don't have to say i love you to say i love you, forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons, we've been making shades of purple out of red and blue, soonyoung go!" jihoon sings

"sickeningly sweet like honey, don't need money, all i need is you," soonyoung sings and sways the both of them around the room, "all i need is you, you."

soonyoung is happy, but he feels like he's going to cry as he tells jihoon his feelings through the song. jihoon will never know, and it will probably stay that way. soonyoung just wants the earth to stop revolving at the time, the years to stop, the time to freeze. just so the moment could stay. he wants to hold jihoon forever and dance with him, spinning in rhythm, locking themselves in cosmic balance.

as they continue to dance around, dizziness kicks into jihoon and he falls down into his friend's embrace.

and the night sky watches in envy as the whole universe collapses in soonyoung's arms.