Accident

First thoughts

The accident was a full on front collision. There isn't much to remember from that night, a flash of lights, a short abrupt scream then black. It's been that way for a while, black I mean it's hard to remember what some things look like, they say that they can fix the partial blindness with surgery. I'm not ready yet. It wasn't like this right after the accident.

They told me that stress from the funerals is what triggered it. I'd like to think of it metaphorically like maybe there is nothing else in the world left for me to see since they're both gone. I remember Lauren's mom telling me that she'd like me to be the first to throw dirt into the gaping hole in the ground that would be her final resting place. Harmony's mom told me I was welcome to any of her stuff seeing as though everything wouldn't be used again.

It was Lauren's funeral I don't really remember though, they tell me I blacked out after almost beating the shit out of Karen.

The funerals really weren't the hardest part, it was after, when I had to go home lay in bed and cry by myself because at least the two of them were together in the universe somewhere. I still can't sort it out in my head, my therapist says it's normal for people who've had traumatic experiences to try and block out those bad memories. The metal of the vehicles blended together still haunts me, the guilt still crushes me, maybe if I'd realized sooner what had happened had called for help sooner, my therapist tells me these regrets are also normal, that with these realizations I've made progress. The next step is to realize that i was the victim of a reckless driver. I wasn't at fault she tells me, how could I be? She says I wasn't driving, I wasn't awake. How could I have known? But what she doesn't realize is I was supposed to be driving, it should be me in that grave. That's why I know that it was my fault they're dead because Lauren was driving when I should have been. Why I can't look at there parents and say I'm sorry enough. I know what I did to them I saw there mangled corpses after I got myself upright. I saw them sitting limply in there seats I knew Lauren was dead when I saw her, Harmony was barley grasping life when I dragged myself from the back of the car. Her arm was stretched hanging limply out the window as she struggled to breathe, blood rolled down her chin and her eyes went cold. That's when the lights came into view and from there everything went dark.