a work in progress

Chapter 15 - Middle Name Maries for Life

"Harper."

"MC, quit stalling. Let's hear what unethical situation you've gotten into. I feel I must applaud your lack of scruples," she says offering me snaps in applause.

"Usually I'm on my own when it comes to making slightly questionable moral compass decisions. You are human. Praise baby Jesus," she says playfully, offering a prayerful pose and head nod toward the heavens.

"Harper, why do you have to be so loud all the time? If you want we can go somewhere for lunch, yes?"

"This must be really serious," she pauses as she makes her way into my office.

I close the door subtly behind her as she proceeds to rearrange some of my furniture. I watch as she pushes a small couch and a chair I have against my bookshelves to create an open space on the floor. Moving steadily she closes my blinds, shuts down my computer and makes her way back to the cleared floor space. She sweeps her hair into a quick chignon and takes off her shoes. Watching somewhat in awe, my ears tune in to her first words.

"MC...please come. Sit."

I oblige as she continues.

"We're not going anywhere. We're not eating lunch. We're actually going to spend some quality time coming to an understanding of what has been going on in your life for the past month. I want this to be an open dialogue so I will do my best to be open-minded and inviting. But MC," she pauses, places her hand on my right shoulder and gives me a death stare.

"If you decide that sharing isn't something you'd like to do today, I can and will make this a more painful process," she closes with an eerie smile.

For a moment I am strangely frightened by the level of seriousness this conversation has reached.

"So where exactly would you like me to start," I ask.

"At the beginning."

"The beginning is really hard to describe."

"Try," she answers quickly through gritted teeth.

"There are no stipulations on how long this story has to be, nor do I care whether or not the phraseology – as you like to say – is proper. I can't be a friend to you if I don't know what's going on with you. Seriously MC...tell me what's up," she ends, affability returning to her tone.

"Oh my goodness. Well, you already know that Matias came two months back. He's on a fellowship and he's here really to check out the academic world. When he came on he had two options of where to set up shop. He could work with me and Joyce here or in the Administration building. None of that really matters, except that it sets the stage for how I even matter to him," I begin hurriedly, trying to take advantage of her sure to be short lasting geniality.

"Alright. Background painted. Continue."

"So there was one day I was here and I almost had a full-fledged panic attack and I didn't really know why. I went outside to catch my life," I say pointing toward the door as I mentally replay that day's events.

"During my episode, Matias walked up and we engaged in a calming banter before we came inside. All was normal but during his time with me he did this weird staring thing."

"He stare–"

"I know, explain the staring thing," I interrupt.

"Dr. Logan and I have already been here. I don't know how to explain it. It was just his look at me was more than a look. It was like he was seeing clear past me," I try explaining, willing her to understand.