a work in progress

Chapter 30 - 23 Flavors

Today is the first day in a very long time that I feel completely free. I'm free. I can be all that I have ever wanted to be. And the lack of concreteness that such an opportunity presents me is surprisingly not scary.

Yesterday I spent time with my father roving through his library and highlighting prime locations to contain in my destination log. At nightfall we took a walk to our secret park – a place that though in the city, is frighteningly quiet and still at night. It holds one of the only clear patches of the starry night's sky.

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"¿Tú sabes qué?" he asked me during our walk.

"No. ¿Qué Papí?" I asked saying my part in the reprise of our recurring tète-à-tète.

"Tú eres mi orgulla y te amo con todo mi corazón."

"I love you too papí," I cooed reaching, grabbing hold of his neck and pulling him down to kiss his cheek.

"Do you know something else?" he asked, stopping and offhandedly taking a seat in the grass, patting the ground beside him.

"No, I don't," I responded joining him on the ground.

"I think mi amorcita that you are going to have a marvelous adventure," he said wrapping his arm around me as I leaned my head into his neck.

"You think so? I hope it's not terribly lonely," I said.

"Lonely? Never," he said voice rich with melodramatic surprise – borderline sarcasm.

"I'm not joking," I said nudging him in his stomach. "I'm going away and I'm not scared, but I just thought...you know, I don't know. Even though before now I never had a plan like this, now that it's here I think I thought I'd have some kind of travel partner."

He turned his head and peered down at me with eyes I couldn't decipher.

"I know it sounds silly," I added looking down and plucking a blade of grass from beneath me.

"Nothing you say is silly. It sounds like you had someone in mind maybe?"

"Daddy don't pry?" I pushed him again.

"What is this pry? I'm just asking a simple question. Are you telling me you cannot answer?" he chuckled, leaning back into me.

"How do you always know things Papí?" I asked looking up at him. "Yes, I had someone in mind – had being the operative word. I made some poor choices and now as much as it probably wasn't likely before, it's definitely not a possibility now."

"You've upset Harper and Hayley?" he asked surprised.

"You know just as well as I do that I'm not referring to Harper or Hayley, and you also know that I'm too smart to walk into your trap. I won't say who. It's just as well...it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway."

"How would you know?"

"I just do," I said returning my eyes to the ground. "There are some things you just know...you know?"

"Maybe...Noe?"

"Hmm?"

"Look at me."

I readjusted and turned toward him.

"Do you remember when we watched that film together?"

"Which one?"

"The love story in New York with the young children."