daisies and guillotines

Heartbreaker.

written for a certain someone, whom I wished I could forget.

「。」「。」「。」「。」「。」「。」
if I told you what i was
how much it hurts
how much you hurt me
would it be different?
if we had met
in a different way,
if i wasn't stupid
if you weren't blind
if my heart wasn't shattered already,
would it be different?
would you still leave me?
would you still hurt me?
would it consider it?
if i told you
that i was broken
that every night i cry for you,
that i'm so lonely
and that my heart hurts every time i think of you,
look at you...
because every time i look at you,
my heart stops,
my mind stops,
time stops.
and i think
'why...'
just why did you have to be so perfect?
why did it have to be you...
why did i have to fall in love?
why did you have to leave me...?
why did it have to end like this?
because love, isn't love.
its death.
i have experienced death
because i have experienced love.
you fall first,
and you enjoy the fall,
relaxing, and fun, it feels like you're flying.
until you hit the ground.
cold, hard, and
alone. all alone.
no one there to save you, to catch you.
no one there to help you up,
because you're dead.
dead until you realize
that you were the one who pushed me off that cliff,
to die.
dead until you realize...
that i love you.
i'll love you until you die. l love you until i die.
i'll love you until the sun burns out,
i'll love you until Saturn's rings blow away,
i'll even love you
if you fall off that cliff.
when you fall off that cliff.
and when that happens, i do hope you'll realize that i will be the one to save you,
even though you don't love me back.
even though i'd give you the world,
even though i'd give you the sun,
even though i'd give you the whole galaxy,
even though i'd give you all my love, everything,
you don't love me.
but...
someday, when the pages of my life end,
you will always be one of the most
beautiful chapters.