bungo stray dogs random stuff

44

a random person holding this dazai nendo: teehee so cute omg

chuuya: oh god almighty if you're ever in existence... i don't care anymore if you sit in heaven sipping your cup of human tears or if you actually do your fucking job. i just want you to fucking end this fucking civilization that makes some cute as fuck mini statues of that bitch dazai which i can't afford because mori deducts the cost of collateral damage from my fucking salary even though akutagawa destroys them buildings and not me.

chuuya, a little more emo now: it also sucks because he's fucking popular and all these goddamned girls and boys are fangirling over him and that he doesn't bother to fucking notice me anymore when i send him letters because everyone else does nowadays. like, it's so fucking hard to deal with yourself and hold back from ruining his fansigns just so you can get atleast thirty minutes of talk with him about small stuff.

chuuya, utterly emo and negative now: i can't even ask him about the weather anymore.

mori, walking into the office 3 hours later because he summoned the short hat and he hasn't arrived yet: nakaharOHMYGOD WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE I SEE A WHOLE FUCKING COLLECTION OF DAZAI PLUSHIES, BODY PILLOWS, NENDOS, POSTERS AND ALL THAT SHIT.

chuuya: apparently, god heard my cries and he dumped merchandise on me so i can be less lonely.

mori: oh.

mori, realizing what shit happened: oh okay. so the fangirls had to pacify you because you were in rage. i see.

god: fuck you, it was i.

mori: oh my god okay.

chuuya: so what do we do now? i have-- *falls to the floor smiling blankly and hugs an x-rated body pillow* lots *chews a plushie* orhf dhuzsae nao

mori: everyone, you have to crack the code

chuuya: kherun vie nouight wir sharfh avair

mori: no, that wasn't german. nor was it audible.

elise, running through the hallways: s o u k o k u u u u u

chuuya: nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein

mori: wir wir wir wir wir wir wir wir wir wir wir wir wir

ango: ist das der annoying idiot

odasaku's ghost: nein, das der faggot

kaji: bonjour mözerficker

mori: ni hao ma, lemon bomba

kaji: amigo, amigo, fen fang mei li man zhuya

akutagawa: core, core, dio mio, mama mia

nathaniel: he literally just spoke three languages, der tüfel

steinbeck: kore wa mezurashii desu ne

lucy: uruse, this is not nihon desu

steinbeck: eh? kedo, you just spoke in nihongo, you baka