j e n n i ' s p o v ;
life is a not a dream
but a living nightmare
forever i wish to sleep
my thoughts i could not bare
.....
sometimes i couldn't sleep
but most nights i tried
just in case to wake up
to be in the blue sky
.....
not to die of course
but to be free
i felt so trapped
i just wanted to leave
.....
i'm so earth bound
it's so unbearable
i want to drift away
feeling as though..
the air was drowning.
.....
i did daily things
just to seem happy
just to feel normalcy..
i tried to stay afloat
i felt like giving up
just to feel at ease
......
unless life could be
a remote for
memories i could foresee
.....
i want to feel alive
for goodness sake
for just one day
i'd like to feel awake.
**
(story form)
it was a slow day, and very cold, but my students keep me warm. they actually do care for me but sometimes i want to break down, because none of that mattered anymore. i was literally alone and not just mentally but figuratively too. today i felt was my last day to be the living dead and i'll forever be alive in another life. so after school finished i quickly exited the school and prepared for my last daily collection of grading papers. the last thing i remember was arriving at the hotel and checking in at my usual time and then suddenly i was; i can't describe it but taken away. meaning i finally was in a deep, peaceful sleep and i didn't want to wake up. i dreamed of my daughter, james and i, living happily and then suddenly one by one they vanished away. you know like a magic trick, just a puff of smoke. gone. i hope when i awaken this time i'm somewhere i can feel free as a butterfly.
when i had awaken i opened my eyes to a very dark room yet an open fire made a little light come in the room. i rubbed my eyes as i lifted myself off the bed and i had realized that i wasnt any place but alone just like home. i rose up and i still felt a little dizzy and groggy like i had been sleep for a century and hold onto my head to keep it up stsy steady. then i go over to the window and peak out the nlinds snd notice its snowing although it wasnt earlier where i was. where am i now? i also noitice its a woody area snd so quiet, secluded. perfect just what i needed.
i began to feel a sudden chill and the myriad of chill bumps begin to fill on my arms, so i close the blinds and head over to the fireplace; its flaming quite nicely, mustve been lit for quite some time. then i began rubbing my hands together and blowing into my palms to help and i suddenly yawn making me want to lay down again. im mostly still pondering what im doing and where am i and almost agog to if this all just some crazy dream. if this was a dream, where's james and jordan? i wonder if this was one of james tricks like maybe he secretly brought me here and leaving me was a ruse for this current situation.
after sitting for some time i suddenly heard a knob turn making me jump and my heart starts to race and then i see a dark figure come through the door, which creaked as it closed. i get up off the edge of the bed and walk towards the person but then they suddenly stop making me stop. the person put their hands in their pockets thereafter; maybe it's james ashamed of what he did and not wanting me to see him. but i didn't care because i still love him and just wanted him to fill my emptiness. so after standing there for another moment i finally muster up and walk further towards them and they didn't even flinch. i reached the tall figure and reached my arms around their waist, the embrace was so warm but i noticed the person didn't bother embracing me back.
"j-james?" i stuttered out in a low voice.
i had stepped back confused and suddenly the sun comes into view through the blinds, making me turn around suprised. when i turned back around the person was closer to me taking in heavy breathes making me step back again and they walk forward and i can see that it is not james and i suddenly am shocked at who it actually is. those eyes, i remember, and the face didn't matter at that moment.
i began examining the man, he wasn't scary looking but his eyes, were just so dark and daunting. the man had a smooth face but with a hint of a beard, more shadow like. he looked fairly young like me and had short, dark brown hair; it was kind of tousled about his forehead. he stood maybe 5 feet and 11 inches to 6 feet and he was wearing a white dress shirt with rolled up sleeves followed by dark pants on and a belt; he was strangely attractive for a kidnapper or whatever he may be. lastly but not slightly the least he had the most striking blue eyes.
he looked down shyly as if i were studying him too much and then he glances back up. suddenly i feel too shy to look at him, but i couldn't look away from those eyes.
"jennifer," he sighed big. "it's so good to finally meet you." he spoke in an accent.
**
l.u.7.21
well idek if this sounds good i couldn't really think of a good scene for this part so that's all i got but i hope it's okay. thanks for reading xx :))) i know there will some typos but i'l lcorrect them laters i am very very sleepy alrighty. bye ☺
