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27. Beautiful

Her eyes shot open and she felt a drop of cold sweat fall down across her temple. Her chest heaved in an effort to regulate her breathing and she tried to blink away the images seared into the backs of her eyelids. She felt Taeyong's body pressed against her side. His arm slung across her stomach, hooked around the curve of her waist and his head rested in the crook of her neck, his warm breath steadily whisping over her skin.

Trying not to wake him, she gently lifted his hand and slid out from under his hold and then made her way to the bathroom. She closed the door quietly behind her and turned to face herself in the mirror. She was a mess in both her appearance and state of being. Her thoughts drifted back to the dream she just had of being taken away by Kyung Chul, struggling to get free and crying hopelessly from the pain that was inflicted on her. She shivered and turned on the faucet to splash cold water over her face.

She looked a shade of pale, chalky gray and the now wet hair along her forehead clung to the sides of her face. She turned away from the mirror and leaned back on the counter, taking a minute to try to calm herself. Her nerves were on edge and her hands still shook, her blank stare and quiet surroundings doing nothing to put her at ease. Shaking the stupor from her head, she stood upright and peeled her clothes off, hoping a shower would help relax her. She turned on the water and stepped in, letting her body soak up the heat and her muscles start to release their tension. Alone and embraced by the flowing water and silenced by its sound, she thought now was the time to let it all go. Standing under the steady stream, she covered her face with her palms and quietly cried into her hands.

Taeyong opened his eyes and felt her absence immediately. He sat up and looked around for her, but was only greeted by the moon that still peeked in through the window. He noticed the light from the bathroom seeping through the crack underneath the door. Breathing a sigh of relief, he felt the tightness in his chest release just a little from knowing exactly where she was. He plopped back down on to the pillow and waited for her to come out.

As he laid in the quiet darkness his mind drifted back to earlier in the day. He recalled his phone ringing and Jaehyun telling him that she was missing. Never in his life had he felt anything with such intensity. Panic, despair, rage, determination, uselessness and failure swirled around in his chest, constricting his lungs and clouding his ability to reason. Never in his life had he felt such solace in the sound of her voice over the phone telling him that she was ok and never in his life did he feel as whole as he did when he embraced her in that moment.

Maybe his reasoning was skewed, but suddenly it was so clear. She had been a refuge from his routine. A figurehead for the life he desired and a sweet taste of normalcy and comfort from some alternate universe. At some point the sweet and bitter mixed and she was no longer an escape, but an inclusion. Their messy meeting, their current crisis and their ultimately short time together were now things that carried no weight or meaning. She accepted him, comforted him, relied on him and as closed off as she tried to be, still shared herself with him. To put it simply, he couldn't recall what everything was like before her, and couldn't imagine what things in the future would be like without her.

Without her...with that thought his body suddenly felt hollow without her next to him. She was only in the next room but he missed her. She had been in there for a while and he wondered if she was ok. He got up from the bed and stood outside the bathroom door, pausing when he heard the shower and her muffled sobs. It made his heart hurt.

He quietly opened the door and saw her behind the frosted glass of the shower door with her shoulders slumped and shaking and her forehead leaning against the wall. He silently removed his clothes and went to the shower. Her head shot up and she skittishly looked over her shoulder as he appeared behind her and called her name.

"Holy shit, Taeyong. Are you trying to scare me to death?!" She gasped while clutching her chest.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. What are you doing?"

"I was just- I couldn't sleep so I thought I would take a shower. Sorry if I woke you up." She said, trying to hide her eyes by looking away.

He stepped closer to her and his fingers gently held the point of her chin and turned her face to him. His eyes seemed to penetrate deep into her and she felt vulnerable and exposed. Suddenly naked before him in body and heart.

"It's ok." Was all he said, his smooth, velvet voice filling the small space.

Those two words seemed to apply to every question and responded to every thought that was floating around in her mind. She didn't know what exactly he was referring to...her, him, them, the situation, her apology, her neediness, or if he was saying it was ok to cry, or all of the above. The simple, open ended reassurance moved her immeasurably. She didn't bother trying to hold it back anymore, but instead wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her body against his, burying her face in his chest and she cried.

It didn't last long, but it was what she needed; to empty herself of all of it and be reset and reassured. He quietly held her, cradling her head with one hand while his other wrapped tightly around her narrow shoulders. When she was finished they separated and without speaking, he methodically washed her hair and her body, gently brushing his fingertips over her, massaging and kneading at the tension in her muscles. Her head fell back and her eyes closed, savoring the feel of his hands on her.

His eyes roamed the shape of her body, all of her curves highlighted by the glistening streams of water that poured down her frame. Her head tilted back and upward, exposing the sensual curve of her neck, coupled with the look of ecstasy on her face from his touch. He struggled the keep his touch light as his own body tensed from fighting back his firey arousal.

As she moved to turn off the water, he went out and wrapped a towel around his waist and waited for her to come out to wrap one around her body as well. As she pulled the cloth around herself and tucked it beneath her arms, he lifted her and set her on the bathroom counter. He draped another towel over her head and began to dry her hair with it.

With her head tilted forward, she couldn't help but fully take in the sight in front of her. His bare skin still glistened with water droplets and though his frame was slender, it was firm and overpowering. The contrast between his narrow waist and broad shoulders was alluring and the sharp angle of his shoulders and the outline of his upper arms, down to his elegant and graceful hands made her bite her lower lip wantingly.

Her eyes traveled back up his body, past his neck and deadly sharp jaw to his soft lips, over his cute little nose up to his dark eyes that carefully concentrated on his current task. Despite the severity of their situation and her growing anxiousness, no matter who he was or what he did, this man had been a gift to her. A rare and precious treasure. A fierce beast whose heart was secretly vast and magnetic. He felt right; not like her missing piece, but like a perfectly complimentary one.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you are beautiful." She said without taking her eyes away from his. "Everything about you is beautiful."

He smiled and laughed shyly, avoiding her eyes as his cheeks flushed. He covered her head with the towel, blocking her sight.

"Don't say things like that so suddenly, you're making my heart race."

She smiled underneath the soft fabric.

"How many other people know your secret?"

"What secret?"

"That there is an adorable and sweet fluffy baby monster hiding inside of you."

"Considering I didn't even know it myself, I would say just you." He laughed.

She pulled the towel from off her head and locked her eyes back on him, the atmosphere suddenly shifting from light and playful to serious.

"I-" she suddenly paused as if she was choosing her words carefully. "Thank you for being in my life." She said softly. "Even if it's scary, I wouldn't trade it for anything."

The words slammed into him, leaving him slightly breathless and in awe. It was unexpected and it took him a few seconds to compose himself.

"Me too." He smiled.