In The Shadow Of Her Smile

Chapter 5 - The Smallest Win

When I entered the classroom, I was late. Luckily so was the teacher so I wasn't noticed.

But I noticed something.

Alycia's friend, Ellie if I remember well, wasn't in her seat. But Alycia was.

I came to the desk, but didn't sit, and asked - "Your friend isn't coming to school today?"

She looked like debating in her head if my life was unimportant enough to end it on the spot. My answer is yes, but not like anyone asks me.

"No, she's sick." - she still looked upset 'cause of last night.

"Can I sit next to you then, only until she gets back?" - she just looked out of the window.

I just smiled to myself... she had a chance to tell me no, but it's far gone now... I pulled out the chair and sat thare.

The professor came in and the class started. She didn't even look at me the whole class, just stared through the window or at the board.

She only looked at me when the class was over, and when she needed to get out of the classroom, so I had to move from my seat first. The look was too cold to describe.

I continued to sit next to her for the whole day, though, not having it in myself to actually do something, but not wanting to give up either. Not allowing myself to give up.

But on the last class that day, it payed off. She let out a big breath and, even though she still wasn't looking at me, said - "You're quite persistant, aren't you?"

I turned my face to her and smiled - "Yes. With the things that are important to me." - she turned her face to me.

"But why would I be important to you?" - I couldn't tell her the real reason, I didn't want her to know... I couldn't let her know.

"Why not?" - she continued her death stare towards me.

I sighed - "Why wouldn't I have a genuine feeling of concern about people who I'm gonna spend at least two years with, college excluded."

She looked at the board again, leaving one more of my questions in the air, unanswered.

After a few minutes, she spoke again.

"I didn't catch your name." - I just looked at her, surprised. Why would she want to know my name all of the sudden, the last time I checked I was as good as dead to her.

She shook her head and looked at me - "I told you mine, it's only fair you tell me yours." - none of us broke the stare.

"It's Caiden. Caiden Lewis."

She nodded, still not breaking the stare. Then the bell rang and we exized the classroom, seperated, as always.

I waited once again for everyone but us to leave, pretending to be organizing my locker. A lousy excuse, I know, but it wasn't suppoased to be valid, no one was gonna really ask.

She started to walk towards the door.

"You can walk with me if you want, it would make you look like less of a creep."

I smiled. Progress.

I ran to catch up to her and then we walked together, in silence.

I knew it was probably a bad idea, but I couldn't help it, I had to ask.

I would never forgive myself if I didn't.

"Why?"

She was silent for a few moments. So she is going to let that one hang in the air too, perfect.

"There is... A lot... Going on right now, and they aren't the people who would understand." - a pause. My eyes were wide like never before, did she just open up to me?

I couldn't believe what I heard, but I was happy, I was so happy.

I finally did this right.

Just when I thought it was over, she spoke again - "And even if they could understand, I wouldn't tell them. That would burden them too much, and I would rather have myself crushed by the whole burden, then let them be burdened by little pieces of it."

She wasn't looking at me, and I wasn't looking at her, but something happened in that moment, between us.

And I smiled to my little victory.