&BURN ◊ GD

CHAPTER FIVE

                               aurora
          where there is so much confusion

from the night of where the words of grayson dolan had been said aloud for me to then comprehend, had brought confusion. yet that was due to the way he used the term, still and love in the same sentence.

either way i was just as muddled as any other person would be when it came to things like this. and perhaps i did know the true meanings behind his voice but the problem was, i did not want to know. or most importantly i did not need to know.

because i longed for that chapter of our lives to be over with. to have it just be another ending and a start to new beginning and i believed that the boy beside me at that moment wanted to too. that he desired something distinctive from the past. however i knew i had sidetracked when he told me this and i somehow felt so relieved that he had felt the same way.

but either way i did not comment on that, nor did i intend on wanting to speak on it. instead i did as what any ex-girlfriend would do in a situation like this; to start laughing hysterically in a way that nothing was funny whatsoever.

it wasn't a good idea but it was an instinct. and at the time i had no other option besides, leave him stranded on this rooftop as i ran away or start singing a song that would hopefully be a distraction from the topic. i went with option a due to it being the least amount of crazy or mean. however it seemed to be a little bit of both when grayson furrowed his brows and became very confused.

the night did not end well because of that. yet i was still able to get him to the dorm as we parted our separate ways with complete and utter, awkward silence. however it was when i stepped inside my room that i knew there would be more conflict. "hey there you are. where have you been? i woke up like an hour ago and i tried to call but no one picked up." cora states with her hand stuffing popcorn in her mouth as i hear the distant sounds of sims characters speaking.

i have to take a deep breath when i plop back down on my bed and shut my eyes for a moment before saying anything back to my friend. "my phone died when i was out and i just charged in the car. i don't know about grayson though. things kind of got awkward when we were hanging out."

"really, already? fuck, now i owe jaden twenty bucks." she sucks her teeth at the end of her statement and i have to sit up when i furrow my brows at the way she so nonchalantly speaks of a bet.

"first of all, you should know i have ptsd with bets between grayson and i. and second of all, why are you betting on grayson and i with jaden?" i question now and cora rolls her eyes playfully when continuing to play on her laptop.

"dique ptsd." she mumbles in half english, half spanish as she then glances at me and back to her screen before shutting the computer to talk. "but i don't know, it's just you would think after the history you guys have, things would be hella awkward and it's not. you guys were chill and so jaden and i made a bet when the weirdness would happen. i thought it would be a lot later on but apparently i was wrong." cora explains now as i am obviously muddled by their supposed secret meetings of grayson and i's relationship.

"and you say grayson and i are two peas in a pod. you and jaden are scarily alike." i confirm now and she scoffs as i go to lay back down.

"yeah, whatever. but what happened? was it grayson who did it or was it you?" she asks now wanting the details why there was a form of tension between us which part of me wish i never spoke of. because at this moment i did not want to break the girl's heart by the way grayson spoke of us.

i mean it could have even been a mistake of what grayson said. that it was just in a moment but i knew cora would not understand that. "it was probably the both of us, to be honest." i tell her and she nods when i glance at her.