How to escape your imagination

Chapter 1

Exam.  It's all that goes through my head.  It's all that matters.  Pass grade 12, and I'll be free.  A tiny weeny problem though...I suck at school.  That being said, I do still try.  Therefore, I must sit in my hot room at midnight with a blanket over my head pretending like I can't hear my whole school partying in the house next to mine.  Blaring music, they even have fireworks but, I will never be allowed to go.  My mom would never let me.  Even when I told her that everyone was going, she simply turned away and continued to make supper.  She hates me.  I know it, but there isn't anything I can do about it.  I don't know why I still try to make her proud.  I'm the foster kid.  She has an actual daughter, she's younger than me, and she might even look up to me.  But I hope she doesn't because I am a mole that lives in my little burrow at 12:04 in the morning listening to take on me and trying to remember that El Paso is a city in Texas NOT A SAUCE  that I put on my nachos.  So that's me...a lame unsociable burrowing owl that will never do anything that's interesting.  And guess what?  I don't care.  This is my life and in T minus 2 weeks, I'm moving out of this place and moving on with my life.  I am deleting the first 17 years of my existence.  I don't need to be remembered, I don't need to be some famous actor, I just need to survive high school, which is actually harder then it sounds.  But what else is new?  

My bright computer screen shines into my face burning my retinas.  I have been reading the same sentence over and over again, trying to prepare for my stupid exam tomorrow, but nope.  There were many things going through my head but the exams weren't one of them.  The only thing going through my head, or the only person going through my head, is this kid named Matthew that goes to my school.  I've had a huge crush on this guy ever since grade three.  However, all that goes through my head day and night is whether or not he could ever love me back.  

I slam the screen of my computer shut and stuff it into my backpack.  I put my head in my hands and whimper.  I probably look pretty funny, an 18-year-old man whimpering into his hands.  It's not nice to judge.  I drag myself out of the computer chair and into my bed.  I yank my outdated cover over my head trying to block out the noise from the party next door.  But it was no use, so I embrace it.  You are probably able to tell what I did after that.  Yeah, I put my best clothes on and silently open my window.  I carefully climb out of my bedroom and out onto the porch.  I strut, yes I strut, over to the door of my neighbor's house and open it to reveal absolute chaos.  Teenage kids run all over the house, doing shots and standing on the counters screaming at everyone.  Maybe this wasn't such a good Id--.  "Hey Jonathan, over here!"  I hear my best friend Molly call.  I reluctantly walk over to her and look her up and down.  She is wearing a skimpy leather black dress like some sort of girl James bond and I guess her hair used to be up, but now it is just hanging limply by her shoulders.  "Wow, Molly you look..."  Molly raises an eyebrow.  "Stop checking me out you creep!"  She says with a grin.  I shake my head laughing.  "I never finished my sentence."  She waves her hand, gesturing that I should continue.  "I was going to say, you look like a stripper."  She laughs and punches me in the arm.  "You're such a jerk sometimes."  I grin.  "So what took you so long?" 

 I shrug.  "Homework."  She narrows her eyes.  "On one of the last weeks of grade 12, when the whole school is partying, you decide to be a groundhog...?"  I nodded.  "Yup."  I look around the room at faces that I had known since grade 2.  "Not to be all sappy or anything, but imma miss some of these people."  All of a sudden the doorbell can be heard from all across the party.  Garrett, the owner of the house runs over to the door and opens it up to reveal the hottest girl in school, May Hudson.  Of course, this isn't in my opinion.  She smirks innocently at Garrett, whose cheeks flush with pink.  "Thanks."  She said blowing him a kiss.  He quickly closes the door, and the party resumes.  "Wow she looks hot,"  Molly says glaring with jealousy.  "I didn't know you were into girls,"  I say with a giggle.  She turns around and gives me another swift punch in the arm.  "Owww."  May struts over leaving a trail of broken-hearted losers behind.  "Hiiii Molly!"  She says grinning.  Molly waves slightly, not sure how to respond.  "Awh, you tried to dress nicely for once!"  A quiet laugh ripples through the group of people that have gathered around her.  Molly' cheeks flush with embarassment.  "It's just a dress,"  Molly says quietly.  She takes a silent step backward, bumping into the staircase.  May moves towards Molly closing the space between them with a large step.  "I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said, I don't speak loser."  Everyone breaks into laughter, girls high five May.  "Enough,"  I say under my breath.  May pivots on her heel.  "What was that?"  My fists tighten and my eyes burn with hatred.  "I said, ENOUGH!"  My voice echoes like a clap through the room, everyone goes quiet.  May smirks, showing no sign of weakness.  "Oh look, now he's mad."  I try to push my shoulders back to look more confident, using my height advantage to seem stronger.  "Have you all lost your minds?"  No one says a word.  I nod.  "What is about May that you even like??"  Nobody speaks.  She spins to look at me and I shrug.  "I'm not mean, I'm just honest."  She glares at me.  "You think you're hilarious don't you."  May takes one step closer.  "You're jealous because you have no friends."  "You're jealous because I have a mother that loves me and you don't."  She shoves a long pointed finger at my chest.  "You're upset and witty because you're hiding the pain that is festering inside of you."  She glares into my eyes with harsh blue ones, smiling a sinister smile.  "Nobody will ever love you, nobody."  May's words echo in my head, and my fists begin to ball up.  I'm unsure of how to respond, and finally memories of May's taunting flood into my head.  

The heat of the moment and memory fueled anger finally influence the situation and I feel my fist coming back and making direct contact with May's face.

  Everything seems to happen in slow motion.  Almost as though I see everything through the lens of a camera.  I see girls fussing over May's minor injury, and boys grabbing my shoulders, yanking me backwards.

"I--" I stutter under my breath.  

"What the hell, Brier!?"  Garrett yells in my face.  I shake my head looking over to May, who's covering her face with her hands.  I look around the room at the different expressions on everyones faces.  Some, shocked, some angry.  My gaze finally comes to Molly who is holding back laughter.  It quickly subsides when I make eye-contact.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly.  Boy's and girls crowd around me with angry and accusing glares..  

"Who punches a girl?!"  Someone says.

I feel hands on my chest as someone pushes me to the ground.  I sit on the floor feeling the smallest I've ever felt.  I cover my head with my arms to block out the yelling but it doesn't go away.

Please get me out of here, please, please.

And then I was out.