The Inevitable

Chapter 18 The Truth

Edward looked down to see he was holding Bella's hand very tightly, and dropped it, sighing loudly. He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

"Are…you alright?" Bella asked quietly.

He cleared his throat, and looked back up into her questioning face. She looked so concerned. He reached out and brushed her cheek lightly with the back of his hand, watching her eyes widen in surprise.

"Bella," he murmured in a low voice.

She said nothing, instead staring intently into his eyes, looking hypnotized. He almost leaned in, right then and there. He imagined lightly pressing his lips to hers, feeling her mouth on his, the electricity that had always shot through him so long ago returning.

But he knew that he couldn't. That wasn't fair. Alice was right. He needed to tell her everything; she deserved to know before he attempted anything like that.

He dropped his hand down and sighed again, the bewildered look remaining on her face.

"I have…so much I need to tell you Bella. So many things I need to say. And I can only hope that maybe you might possibly…understand. That you won't despise me."

"Edward, I don't…" she began.

"You don't yet," he cut her off, smiling grimly.

She sighed. "Well…what do you want to tell me?" she went on quietly.

He instantly moved away and began pacing anxiously. He went back and forth a few times before coming to the conclusion that he couldn't get what he wanted to say across effectively this way, and immediately stopped and turned back to face her.

He sighed loudly before beginning, running his hand through his hair. "Bella…I believe…you're under…a misapprehension. And I am completely to blame for that." He watched the look of bewilderment come across her face again.

"Bella…when I left…" he began, and watched her face turn hard as soon as the words left his mouth. He opened it to speak again, but was quickly cut off by her.

"We don't need to discuss that Edward," she said in a voice she was trying desperately to keep controlled; but it wavered slightly. Her whole body went rigid, defensive.

He almost considered dropping it, leaving it alone. But he knew that, rather than letting that reaction deter him, it was exactly why he needed to go on.

"Yes we do," he said firmly.

He watched her open her mouth immediately to protest; but then she stopped. She said nothing, and turned her gaze away from his eyes to the ground.

"Bella?"

She sighed, but refused to meet his gaze. "Well go ahead then," she said in a resigned tone.

He wondered briefly if he should ask her to look at him, wondering if it would be better said looking into her eyes, but then decided not to push her. It was apparent already that this was going to be difficult for her. He didn't want to make it any worse.

"I…lied to you," he said gravely.

Her head shot up, her eyes meeting his instantly. "What?"