This isn't edited so please excuse any grammar, caps, or spelling, tah.
Will
Maybe it had been him that had driven Mike to the point of being lonelier than himself. Maybe he had caused mike to distance himself from the boys, from his friends. Maybe it was Will's fault.
It had been a few days since the storm and the ground was yet to dry and the air was crisp with the winters dew. Will was still recovering from his slight cold, his mother has insisted he stay home the next day in case of the school worsening his health (if that was possible). But it was time for him to return from his small holiday, dreading what was to come for the day. Will knew that feeling quite well now, he was all too familiar with it- the sensation of stones gathering at the pit of your stomach, the feeling of heat travelling over your head, suffocating you, making you wish for mercy, pray for the future. Pray for a future void of your worst fears. Even if they are bound to happen. The future is cruel like that, it will not take you in it's grace, it'll not be kind, rewarding. It'll rip you of your sanity as will your past. Life sucks, Will had decided upon though. He preferred to not dwell on its hardships too long for it gave him a head ache. He preferred to silence it. Lock it away and think of it only in the darkest hours of the night or the earliest of the morning.
It wasn't healthy. But he already knew that.
"Will are you sure you're okay to go today? You could stay home if you need to, but I do have a shift that I need to take care of- only a few hours though. You'd be fine here by yourself obviously." Joyce said to the brunette as he appeared in the kitchen, fully clothed and ready for school.
"Yes, mom, it's fine. I'm fine." Will replied with a small sigh that he quickly regretted feeling a twinge if guilt.
"Okay, okay, whatever you say. Promise you'll go to the office if you're feeling bad though, yeah?"
"Promise."
Joyce smiled at him though, a not overall convinced expression shadowing her eyes. Will stood awkwardly staring at the plate of lightly burnt toast on the table at his allocated seat, his stomach moaned in hunger but will stifled his appetite, ignoring its call. He walked towards the plate and picked it up, swallowing. "I'm not really hungry today." He said to his mother who stood piling the dishes. Johnathan joined them in the kitchen.
"What? Will you need to eat something-"
"I'm leaving now for school. Thought I'd let you know, early start." Johnathan cut in whilst he shoved multiple textbooks into his bag.
Will saw this as an opportunity, quickly he scraped the contents of his faded chipped plate into the trash and took it to the sink. The conversation continued about Johnathan's plans.
Small victories.
"I'll bike to school! Bye mom, Johnathan!" He called from the living room before grabbing his bag and exiting through the back door. The sun danced through the thick array of white clouds making Will squint. A world of green had been replaced by an orange and scarlet one and Will liked this change. Liked the distraction. For once a chance felt good, not painful or overwhelming. Not terrifying. Something that was worth it. As the seasons change maybe he would change too. Maybe his undeniable fear of himself would ebb away into the nothingness he couldn't identify. He could destroy it, lock it away for the rest of his life, the rest of the time his feet would walk this earth.
Yet he wanted to refuse the fear to have the pleasure and satisfaction of taking control of his life more than it already did. When it birthed a substantial weight upon his brain was the first time he witnessed his father hit his mother. It was also the first time he had seen them fight. That was real fear, he had decided. Even looking down into the jaws of death itself, in all its glory, could be no where near as terrifying as that god forbidden night, the night the barricade he had built around himself from the years of abuse and torment he lived with began to crumble, it was an attack his military was not ready for. Nuclear missiles had been blown at that barricade that night, and everything fell. Will pushed the thoughts from his mind and stared up at the sky, shivering as he released a shaky breath. He started towards the moulded shed that skirted upon the looming trees to get his bike. The shed was filled with unopened boxed of ornaments and various tools and Christmas decorations. Nailed upon the wall was an aged rifle, one that his father used when he would take him and Johnathan out on mandatory hunting trips.
Will had never shot the gun, the idea if it made him quiver, but Johnathan gave it a good enough go- although he, as his father put it, was shit at it. Will remembered how his brother would clench his jaw at the insults and taunts, then continued his attempts to hit another innocent animal. One time, Will had trailed behind his father and brother and gazed solemnly into nothing, thinking of the bitter universe and it's cruel brooding secretes. He didn't get to dwell long though, as he sensed a presence behind him. He turned around and there, stood only meters away, was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid his eyes upon. The doe stood by itself, staring at Will curiosity with its black eyes, softly coat glistening in the sunlight. A sense of peace rested in Wills conciseness, clearing his brain of all his recent broods.
