Internal Suffering

The RESTS

After having the game night with Dust... I haven't seen him... No matter what... I haven't seen him...

Papyrus seemed pleased the idea, though he tries to show a little concern for me... I know the act... I'm not falling for it...

The kid came by earlier than usual... I knew it was Frisk... She's just going Neutral... Thinking that I forgot... But I haven't... I remember every detail of the RESETS. This REST she and my brother teamed up... They're keeping me in my room... Telling everyone lies...

Today, they had me in the basement, where no one can hear me scream... Not that I could anyway... I was gagged by some rope... 

I cried as they continued to hurt me... I didn't make any other sound though... I just cried... I just whimpered... No moaning... No screaming... 

I didn't make any sound to their disappointment... Then they started breaking my bones...

I screamed...

I struggled against them, but Frisk was able to hold down my hips and Papyrus was able to keep me from squirming too much by BLUING my soul.

I cried and screamed for the to stop... Yet, the gag refused to let me talk... 

When they were done using me, they cleaned me up and made me eat something. I was back to full health... and I hated it... 

Once I was back in my room, I hung myself as they forgot about the gag... I wanted to make those lies, truths.

However, the kid just RESETED to their last SAVE point. This time they went genocide... They had already killed most of the underground... I fought them at the hall... But... Like always, they won...

After they were finished with the Queen, she dragged me back to Snowdin. There, she tied me to a post and stripped me of all my armor. 

I tried to fight! But... I was still weak from the earlier battles... Her red eyes never ever saw the scars on my body... She still thought that I had forgotten... And just gave up...

She raped me again and again... The cold starting to get me... 

If I didn't moan at least once or twice, she would break a few bones and not help them heal... She was a real monster... 

The rope had started becoming weak as I kept struggling against it... Though it was still sawing into my bones... When they snapped... I summoned a bone attack... The only thing I could summon from being so weak...

I let tears fall from my eyes, but I killed myself again. 

The kid RESETED back to the beginning. I had gone through it once more... Dust never showing... 

I stopped calling out his name at night... The nightmares were coming back and I stopped setting alarms... Everything is falling apart... 

I don't even know how much more of this I can handle... Dust was my savior... He kept me from going insane... From losing it! And now... 

I don't know how much more I can take... How much I can be used and forgotten like a stupid old toy... Until I final shatter... And nothing can stop that from happening...