Jungkook has begun suffering from his loss of childhood. Questions fill his head constantly and now? he isn't even sure if he has made the right decision to join BTS.
He's too scared to ask for help, just in case people look down on him. So instead...
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My sore, aching eyes opened. I tried to push my body up using my arms, but the pain was to much so I just layed there for a little longer. I'm still in the BigHit bathroom aren't I?
No one came looking for me? No one called... Why am I not surprised? Looking at my phone, that was on the floor in front of my eyes, it lit up. I became hopeful, maybe one of the members are curious of my location.
Forcing myself to sit up, I took my phone in my hand and looked at my locked screen. No messages, no calls. Just a notification saying that BigHit uploaded something on Twitter.
I let out a hearty laugh to myself.
Of course... What was I expecting? I leaned on the wall behind me and let my mind wonder. I shouldn't have ran away like a child yesterday. I should have just faced my problem like the adult I'm supposed to be.
But their eyes... their annoyed, judgemental eyes. I couldn't take it. Everyday I get stared at, talked about... I don't want that anymore. What is it like to just be a normal person? To just be unknown? To have a normal family, normal friends, a normal lifestyle.
I don't remember the feeling. I have been in this company for so long... Why am I not used to it? Why? I don't understand? My mind and body should be accustomed to being an idol, yet I'm not.
A sharp throb shot through my leg and I closed my eyes in pain... Why did I over work myself? At least I'm on break... I can rest. It turns out dance didn't help my mental state. In fact, the situation yesterday just made it worse.
What did that boy have against me? Do you know what? I don't even care... It just hurts. Hurts all over.
I saw my phone light up in the corner of my eye. Lowering my gaze, I unlocked my phone and saw a message in the group chat between my Hyungs. Are they worried for me?
Namjoon Jungkook, Idon't know where the fuck you are but we all decided to start preparationfor our new comebackearly, so we are ahead of things. Bighit released the statement this morning, I'm sure you've seen it. We are goingto be in the studio for 9.
Seokjin Don't swear Namjoon, I'm sure Jungkook had his reasons for not coming back to the dorm.
