Jungkook has begun suffering from his loss of childhood. Questions fill his head constantly and now? he isn't even sure if he has made the right decision to join BTS.
He's too scared to ask for help, just in case people look down on him. So instead...
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My eyes opened and I found myself in my room. My dark, lonely room. Bare walls, plain bed sheets. I always asked myself why I never decorated a little... maybe it would feel more homely if I did.
How did I even get back here?
Ah... Seokjin-hyung must have taken me home. How caring...
Whatever, it's not like he was caring beforehand. Sitting up, I felt an overwhelming pain shoot to my back and thighs at the same time. They were sore and I could hardly move them because of how I have treated my body lately.
Slowly, I reached over to my desk. Grabbing my phone, I checked the time.
6:30 am
Hyungs will still be here then. Great...
Seokjin: "You can't go in Namjoon, he's still asleep"
I could hear voices coming from outside my door: they were not exactly being quiet.
Namjoon: "We all need to talk to him Jin-Hyung, we can't go back to practicelike this..."
Are we not aloud to go back to practice now? Is this because i passed out? Obviously it is... it's always my fault.
I ruined something that could have made our fans happy. I suppose, the hatred they have for me will just grow after this...
Seokjin: "We do need to talk Namjoon, as a group. But not now, let him rest. Okay?"
Talk as a group? Ha... if only that happened beforehand. I would have known everyones feelings about me earlier.
Even now, I'm still holding onto the hope that they still see me as a friend, despite all this. I just don't want them to leave me alone... it scares me.
They are all I have.
Namjoon: "We don't have time for this Hyung! He should have taken better care of his body, he knew our comeback date was so near."
This is my fault... the band is lacking because of me. If I just, tried harder. Done something about myself: I could have been a good person.
Hyungs try so hard all the time. I don't... they used to say it's okay because I'm the maknae: but it's not like that anymore.
