Shut up (SMOSH fanfic)

Chapter 2.

WARNING: CONTAINS TRIGGERING SCENES

--

"uhm guys..." I said whilst hugging the two idiots I loved more than my life.

"yes?"

"I am naked under this goddamn bathrobe, that's why I was saying that this is uncomfortable..."

"it doesn't bother me" Anthony said and Ian looked at him with a disgusted face

"DUDE she is my sister"

"technically not but emotionally yes"

"sssh don't ruin the moment" my brother said.

"I love you both but please let me dress."

"I got some food by the way, and we're staying here until mom gets home."

"your idea, or mom's?" he wasn't answering. "okay, enough now" I said. "oh and teach Anthony how to knock." Ian looked at him with an 'I-am-sick-of-your-stupid-shit-sometimes' face.

"what happened?"

"you don't want to know that" we replied at the same time.

"get out of my head" I laughed.

I got dressed and called Lexi.

"well?" she said

"they are staying until mom and dad gets back."

"aww fuck"

"no babe, no fucking" I said with a sad expression, and I heard laughter but not from the phone. "a sec" I stepped out of my room and found Anthony sitting next to my door on the ground. "what are you doing?" 

"having fun?" I burst out laughing.

"babe gotta go now, I'll call you later" I said and hung up. "you know that having fun means a completely different thing for me, right?" I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. He couldn't hold it and laughed. 

"Ian your sister is molesting me." he yelled. I heard him laughing in the kitchen.

I was staring and grinning at him. "wow this is creepy, don't do this." I kept doing it. "seriously stop."

"I won't stop until you guys stop 'existing' next to my door"

"oh for fucks sake." he got up.

I blinked and it suddenly became late night.

The guys were crashing the couch, and watching some TV, I was in the kitchen for some food, and I heard them talking. I was practically hiding in the kitchen.

"nah we can't sleep in the same bed, that is awkward.. One of us on the couch and one of us in her old bedroom."

"what should I do in a pink bedroom?" Anthony laughed.

"it's not pink anymore, it is grey, since she said she hates pink."

I thought about how the fuck should I solve that fucking problem, because Lexi's parents are visiting this week, and what we did, was not enough for this week. 

Like I've said. Horny teenagers.

When I went to my room closed my door I turned off the lights and looked at my phone.

"1:30, they should be asleep so I guess..." I whispered.

It was hot in the room, so I got rid of my clothes at night, and when I do that, I am conscious about my sleeping position. Every time I do this, my brain wakes me up to check my sleeping position.

I was laying on my stomach, the blanket was at my waist. I groaned when I woke up, there was just too much light in the room.

I looked at my phone. 1 PM.

"oh fuck me."

I got dressed and found my brother with the car key in his hands in the living room, looking at his phone.

"morning" I groaned. 

"I'm gonna go get some milk and food, you wake up this little bitch" he whispered and pointed at his best friend.

"okay." 

"be good sis" he said and left.

I poked Anthony.

Nothing.

"dude are you even alive?" I cowered next to the couch and poked his face. "oh fuck it I'll stop doing this, before this little shit turns me straight." I stood up and looked back at him. He was smiling. "wake up or I'll sit on your face" I said loud enough. He burst out laughing. "uh, so you're awake... Well this is awkward"

"I was awake the whole time, I just don't wanted to get up, because then Ian would've sent me for food."

"you're such a lazy ass." I smacked him in the shoulder. He looked at me and smiled. "what?" he kept smiling. "seriously what?" he just smiled like an idiot. "ugh" I groaned and walked back to my room.

We spent the day playing on the xbox, I've beaten Anthony 3 times, BUT my brother beat me all the time.

After 2 hours of playing I went back to my room. I felt depressed again from all of a sudden.

I got up.

"I'm going to sleep, goodnight." I said and I didn't care about what expression they could see on my face. I quickly went back to my room and collapsed on the bed.

I had not-so-good moments in my life, including self harm.

Yes. I used to harm.

I felt like I need to harm again.

The boys didn't know this about me, and I hoped they never will.

I'll never ever forget the summer when I started feeling bad and eventually I ended up, hanging, and then getting myself off. I never told anyone about that. 

That night I harmed again.

I wasn't proud, and I still felt like shit.

The next day I stayed in my bed. 

I didn't care about my wrist covered in blood which actually dried and stuck to my skin while I slept an hour, I didn't care if Ian sees it, I didn't care if I'd die.

I felt worse than yesterday.

It was 3 in the afternoon, when someone knocked on my door.

I didn't answer it, so it was opened by the person who knocked, who happened to be the idiot, named Anthony.

"get up, it is 3 PM."

"I'm not feeling it."

"and why?"

"I'm sick of everything today, mostly my existence."

"oh come on" he grabbed my left arm and when he looked at it, he was terrified. "oh my god what the fuck happened?"

"nothing?" 

"oh jesus christ, nope, you're getting up and we are going to the hospital."

"CALM YOUR TITS THIS IS NOTHING" I yelled "don't tell Ian about this. And don't yank it again, because it will bleed again." 

10 minutes passed and an ambulance came and took me.