Shut up (SMOSH fanfic)

Chapter 3.

Still triggering, sorry :c uh and do not forget about sexual things...

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"I hate you so much now" I said looking at him. He sat silently, picking at his skin. "are you okay?" he wasn't saying anything, then I recognized it. "oh my god I never meant to give you a panic attack I'm so sorry oh my god" I said whilst looking at him.

When we got into the hospital, he was better, and I got checked by a doctor.

"you should go and seek some help" the doc said. "are you getting bullied at school or something?"

"no" I said.

"well, you still shouldn't do this and you need to seek some sort of help.." he said. I got an antitetanic shot, just for safety, and they let us go. "are you better?" I asked Anthony when we walked out of the hospital.

He looked at me and exhaled. I had a huge bandage on my left arm.

We walked home in complete silence. "hey" I said. 

"hm?"

"finally, at least you make some noise" I sighed "you better now?"

"yeah. How did you know I was having one?" he asked, looking at the sidewalk.

"I just knew. I have them often."

"are YOU better?"

"ah, stop giving a fuck about me, you seriously care too much."

"I know you since I know Ian and..." his phone started to ring. "...oh, speaking of witch... ye?"

"WHERE ARE YOU AND WHAT HAPPENED" my brother was slightly angry, and Anthony was messing with him by putting Ian on speaker.

"I HAPPENED" I yelled.

"a second and we're home, don't freak out, she'll explain everything."

"why me? if you don't call that goddamn ambulance there would be nothing I should explain besides my forearm." I growled.

When I stepped into the living room, Ian looked at me and freaked out.

"WHAT IS THAT?" he ran up to me, and almost ripped my fucking arm off.

"CALM YOUR TITS MAN."

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM MY TITS, I DON'T EVEN HAVE TITS" he almost grinned.

"you have to admit, that sentence was funny" I said.

"NO." he yelled. "NOW WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR ARM."

"MAY I HAVE A WORD HERE?" Anthony yelled.

"yes what now?" Ian asked.

"you remember when I stole her diary and you were so nice that you kept bugging me to take it back..." I looked at Anthony. I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?" I looked at him with a terrified look.

"yes I remember"

"you know why I was saying you should read it?"

"nope, obviously not." I was looking at both of them, and I was trying to kill them in my mind.

"she left the diary on her bed, opened, I looked at it and there was the magical sentence: I tried to hang myself today, and I almost died, but nope I won't tell anyone about it, because I don't want to end up in an asylum." and then I remembered.

Years and years ago, when I turned 15, I was such a stupid blonde idiot that I actually left my diary on the bed.

I remember when it went missing and I thought I've put it away, but when I wanted to write again, I couldn't find it anywhere.

Ian looked at me.

I stormed out of the room, back to mine where I closed my door, and went into the wardrobe, for some peace, quiet, and darkness.

A few minutes later Ian ripped open the door, looked at me, came into the wardrobe, closed the it and sat down.

"sis..." she started, and hugged me. "why?"

"what why?"

"why did you try to..." he couldn't finish the sentence.

"kill myself?" I asked. "my actual mother died when I was five, I don't know if my father is still alive or not... you seriously need to ask that?"

"I'm so sorry... And I always will be sorry about that."

"you don't have to be. And please leave me alone now, but don't let Anthony near my room, I don't want to talk to him."

"are you mad at him?"

"yes." I said, and I stared into the darkness. He kissed my face, and hugged me. "and I have to go to the post office tomorrow, so don't let him near my room." My brother sighed. I felt he was looking at me.

I stayed in the wardrobe for hours.

When I came out of the wardrobe, it was dark. I looked at my phone. 10 PM.

I grabbed my towel and went to the bathroom.

I stood under the pouring water, and I started to sing Northern Downpour, by P!ATD.

The hot water was burning my scars, and they began to bleed again.

I wrapped my towel around myself, and I stepped out of the bathroom. 

I took 4 steps, and I bumped into Anthony.

"sorry" I growled.

I went to sleep early that day.

The next morning I got waken up by someone.

"I got your package, and I'm leaving soon be good sis."

"what" I yawned.

I got up after half an hour of pointless laying in the bed.

I went to grab something edible, and that was when I had to face with the fact that Ian actually left the house for reasons unknown.

"listen.." he started "I'm sorry, I felt like I have to..." I interrupted.

"no." and I left him.

He came after me.

I finished eating in my room, and went to brush my teeth.

When I came out I bumped into him.

I went to my door and when I opened it, he grabbed the doorknob.

He closed the door, and his arm was in the way. I had to look at him."what?"

I had this thing.. I couldn't look into somebody's eyes for long or it would turn awkward.

"can we talk?" he asked.

"no" and I was about to get out of the situation, but nope, he grabbed my waist and pulled me back.

I tried to get out again, but nope, this time he grabbed me with both hands, lifted me, threw me over his shoulder, and opened my door. "for satan's sake, put me down"

"your brother left because he want you to make it up with me. I assume you still hate me." he said, whilst holding me.

"i AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU SO BRACE YOURSELF." I yelled.

He laughed. "oh what now?" I asked. "seriously, what? AND WHY DID IAN LET YOU STAY HERE ALONE WITH ME I AM GOING TO KILL HIS ASS."

"probably because you're gay" he said, throwing me on my bed.

"and what if I am not?"