Tattoo//LRH

33. Always, Forever and Love You's

Michael and Ashton went home earlier while Carter, Calum and I stayed back. Madison and Carter were playing with puppy Miles while Calum and I went upstairs to set up Carter's play pen crib thing for him to have a nap since I can sense his crankiness creeping up on us. After Cal and I were done setting up his bed, we walked downstairs to see Madison playing with Carter and giggles erupting the whole room. "Mama, does pup-"

"What?" She lets out as if it was almost a breath. Calum stood still, afraid to move a muscle while I ran straight over to him. "Carter, what makes you-. No, bud. That's not mama." I felt as if the weight of the whole galaxy was shoved down my throat. The way he looked at me afterwards, so confused. He didn't understand what he did wrong, which he didn't. It wasn't anyone's fault it was just-. That wasn't his mom. Calum made his move to get him out of whatever is about to happen. "I'm gonna put him to bed and then go watch a movie or something. I'll leave you guys to- uhm. Talk." He stammers while grabbing Carter and taking him upstairs.

"Maybe he isn't wrong. Maybe you'd be the perfect figure to him to-" I got interrupted by her terrified scoff. "Are you crazy? What the hell makes you think you can push that title on me? You're his father not his assistant that go out and pick out some random chicks for him to call his mom!"

I take a deep breath, hoping and praying that I can steady my voice enough so this is nothing but a conversation. No yelling, no argument, just talking. "I wish you were just a random chick. Shit was so much easier when you were nothing but a random ass bitch, and not the chick that's the centre of every move I make. I think you have seem to forgotten what I went through. I'm not the same stupid kid you still see me as. I'm not tryna start a petty ass argument again, it's just that I'm a different pers-"

"No one can change at the sound of 3 syllables, Luke!" I stare at her in a loss for words and my comprehension working all too well. She doesn't regret saying what she did. That was one of those things where once it's said, you feel it. It hits hard, no matter how important the person talking to you is. It can be a random stranger on the street but the words will echo in your head until the day you can't hear anymore.

"Not even 3 whole words, Luke. Syllables. No one can change because someone loved them." Again, she took me off guard. But nonetheless I explain myself calmly.

"I think you can. And I'm not even talking about those fucking notes, you're just mad she left them for me and not for you. It can change you and you would see that if you gave me a chance." She scoffs and looks up at the ceiling, refusing to believe anything I'm feeding her. "And you know what is the most important about this drastic change in me you refuse to see?" Her eyes are brought back to mine once I speak again. "I've learned to love people. But the person I want to prove it to wont let me. Why do you hate me, Madison?" The last part came out more as a plead then anything else.

"There is no such thing as hate, just-"

"Just a lack of love, Madison. Yes I know. We've been over this, but what the hell showed you so much lack of love that I'm sitting here paying for it?"

She turns back to me, expression still rather the same but her eyes are glossy of tears.

"Please don't cry." I whisper under my shaky breath. Maybe I wouldn't have cared if she was crying if my mind was still in control. But my heart seems to have full control over me now, and I just have to let it. My jaw clenches. I shut my eyes. Breathe, Luke. Don't let her hurt you, because maybe this once. She needs to be hurt.

"What do you want me to do? Shriek in pure joy and excitement? Luke, do you not understand, she's not coming back this time." Referring to events that have taken place a year and a bit ago.