Would You Still Love Me?

I Hate Everything About You

AUTHOR'S NOTE

i just want to say that if you are going through hard times like what Willow is going through, then please know that you can talk to me, i actually have tried what she did in this chapter, and please know that people love you, i love you. if you would like to talk to me my KIK is author001 i am on all the time except at night but i have my phone on me all the time. please i love you talk to me whenever!

****************************_________________******************************

Music, they say music is just about Love, Breakups, Summer, or drugs. Yes most music is about love, but that's what almost all bands have in common, they have love in their lives, and they know so much about it that it makes the music by itself. People say that bands should stop making so popular topics like Love, but when they do make music that has love in it, they have it on repeat. just like i have I Hate Everything About You, my tears were falling from my eyes ad blurring my glasses, yes you heard me correctly glasses i tried contacts they didn't work so i went back to glasses. I felt like there was a presence right behind me, i flipped my head over and saw, Him. Staring at me like he found gold.

"Hey Willow... Didn't think you would show up, since it's twenty-five minutes after four. usually you're at home already-"

"How do you know i am already home by four?" i interupt him, "Cause i watched you come home acouple times and it was exactly 4:05." he answered.

"I told you I don't want you to contact me, just cause we dated doesn't mean I still love you." I argued while getting up and trying to walk away, but he pushed me up againest the tree behind the bench, "Babe, I miss you so much! Come back to me please." He begged, I rolled my eyes, right when i rolled my eyes his hands pinched my sides, which made myself hurt everywhere, giving myself flashbacks. I started fighting back trying to get him off of me, He held my sides tighter and was leaning in to my neck, I was struggling to get free, trying, and trying, I ain't giving up, Not like my mom did from my Father, once he started abusing she gave up, she let him do this to her, she let him kill her heart. He started pushing himself on my neck which i was kicking his shins like there was no tomorrow, i could hear a grunt of pain come through, which then his hands went down to my thighs and held them tight, which didn't really save him cause i could still kick, soccer, got to love it when you can defend youself.

"Babe-"

"I AIN'T YOUR BABE, NOW FUCKING GET OFF OF ME YOU FAGGOT!" I screamed for my life, I kicked his foot off the ground, but that didn't work so good for me, He fell right onto me which made him kiss me, mouth to mouth, he held in everything, he was demanding entrance, but i denied, i was kicking, i was punching, i was doing almost everything i could do in my power, i can't give up, i can't let him in, no not this time. my earbuds were still in, and I Hate Everything About You was still on repeat, I pushed him off of me with all my strentgh, he fell onto his butt, and i was free, i sprinted home.

I was home, i locked all the doors and shut all the windows, and sat in my room with the music full on loud mode, just ignoring what happened, 'You can't help me anymore, i'm already lost, music was my Painkiller but now its a drug, i listen to it everyday, every moment i get, you helped me through times like this, but you can't save me from myself, i know all the song, i know all the lyrics, i have my walls full of your poster, my closet is full of merch of the bands, my phone is just pictures of you guys, My phone cover is a lyric of the song that saved me...

But it can't save me, now. No it won't!'

I got up, i picked up my box full of blades, and went to the bathroom, i grabbed one of the blades, i grabbed my wrist and stared at the lines of scars going down my skin, 'Why do you do this to me?' I thought to myself while i put the blade up to my wrist, I started working on my master piece of new scars, i knew I wouldn't be able to go too deep, i knew i wouldn't, so right after i got done working on the master piece, i grabbed mom's sleeping pills, i took probably seven pills probably maybe more, i got a glass of water and took a drink and slowly took the one by one into my mouth, I was letting the pills settle in my mouth, letting the disgusting taste soak into my taste bugs, Right when I swallowed maybe two or three pills, the rest i was gagging on. I coughed up the pills and saw they slipped out of my mouth, I only swallowed 1 pill.

I could overhear a knock coming through the music blarring through the speakers, i quickly cleaned the blood and walked downstiars to the front door, I opened the door and saw Jake standing quietly on my doorstep. "Hey I was just wondering if you were okay- Are you okay?" He asked, "I'm fine, thanks for asking, and coming over, you can leave now." I answered after shutting the door, I was walking back to the stairs when a knock came through the music again. i walked over to the front door and opened the door, Jake still standing, "You seem nervous, did something happen? like I don't know, you look shooked u-up." he chocked, i put my right arm behind my back hiding the blood and the cuts, that didn't work out so good for me, Jake's hand imediantly grabbed my wrist and pulled it back to see, i could feel his body shaking, i could see the horror in his eyes, I could hear him mumbling to himself, I could only makeout a couple words, but i think he was saying 'Please don't be true' He looked straight at my wrist and his face softens...

I pull back my wrist and walk back into the house,"Are we still on about 4 in the morning tomorrow?" i asked trying to act normal, He looked straight into my eyes and i felt like i couldn't stop staring into his dark brown eyes, Willow, stop this drama, you don't need it, YOU NEED COLLEGE!

"Yeah I guess... Just meet me in the front of the house, okay?"

"Yeah.. That's fine. Then will you tell me what my mission is?"

"Yeah...."

I nodded, and shut the door, and slid down the door, staring down at my wrist, covered in dry blood, with wet drops of tear falling down to my wrist, "Why couldn't life be easier?"

Why?

Why did they both come into my life at this time, i need to think of college not guys? it sounded more like a question than a statement.

I Hate Everything About You, Austin, I hope you die alone....