Would You Still Love Me?

Shadows DO Die

4:00 Am

I was awake, the whole night, listening to music, hearing my mom come home drunk, silently crying to myself. Slowly getting dressed, Covering all the scars on my wrist, applying eyeliner, mascara, Grabbing all the junk i might need for this I don't know how long trip.

I shouldn've asked about that...

Stupied Willow...

I got up from my bed, grabbed my bag, put my earbuds in, and started hearing, Caraphernella by Pierce the Veil. "What's so good about picking up the pieces?" suddenly i heard a knock coming from the front door, I walked to the door, and opened it to see Jake, standing there all sweet an innocent.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." He cracked a small smile on that comment, which sent me smiling as well, I walked outside, shut the door, and walked with Jake to his Van, I opened the passenger side door, put my bag on the floor, and got in. I put on one earbud, so i could atleast listening to somehting instead of talking coming from the radio. I could hear Would You Still Be There by Of Mice and Men.

I started Humming to the song, and looking down at my camera roll, I saw one of my old albums, called 'LOVE, Just Love' i clicked on it and my face quickly went from a small smile, to disgusted, it was pictures of Austin and I....

YOU HEAR THAT?

IT'S ME PUKING UP MY DIGNITY!

NO seriously i am literally pretending that i am puking right now...

I heard someone open the door, and mid-puke i stopped and slowly turn towards the noise, Jake was staring at me, He burst out laughing which made me start laughing, and now we are just laughing our asses off in a Van. We stopped laughing after a couple of minutes that felt like hours Jake started the Van and the road trip started, I don't know where i am going, but i still know where my heart is... It's in the music... Nothing else. I wouldn't be the same without music, and i know a lot of other kids in those hard times, were raised by bands, were raised by singers, that loves their fanbase..

"So how long is this ride?" Jake glanced over to my way, but quickly looked back to the road, "About an hour or so." He answered which i silently nodded to myself since he isn't looking at me. I went back to my music and recognized the lyrics quickly since i made the album and it is all i listen to really, Just music, no one seems to get that, listening to this kind of music Is really something that saves people through hard times, it happened already... But we all know the story.

"Willow, Would you mind getting the cd box in the back, you can then pick some tracks." He asked which i nodded in responce, I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed into the back of the van, and found the box, it was full of cds, i mean seriously how much money does he have? I should date him, if he has money. Ha. No. I picked up the box, and brought it up with me, I searched them through the box and found a lot of cds that i like a lot, I was almost to the bottom of the box, and i found the Cd that i have been wanting for awhile, They don't have the Cd at the local Music store in town, I was staring down at the Cd of Of Mice And Men, I literally want to steal this from him, I love this album. I'm serious I asked the manager if he could pre-order it for me and he did, that day I was there ten minutes early waiting for the manager to come out with it, he came out and he had a sad smile when he saw me, he knew I wanted this album really badly, he then told me that 'I'm sorry but someone came with more money that what you spent for the album, I had to let him have it.' that's when I realized maybe Jake was the one who took it. "Hey jake? this album by the Of Mice And Men did you pre-order it?" I asked showing him the album, he slowly observed the album and sighed.

"No I was coming to search for it at the Music Store, I asked the manager if he had one in the back, I told him I could pay more if it is. He told me the price and I have him double. why?" he was the guy who took the Cd from me. "No reason really."

"Willow, don't 'No reason' me. Tell me why you asked." he demanded which then I was too concentrated on the Cd, the song titles all speak to me. "I was the one who pre-ordered it and was the price you doubled, I was waiting for the Cd for about a month for it to come to the Music Store. I came and you got it" I answered staring down at the box, all the CDs of beautiful lyrics, that took so long to make the music videos, to make the lyrics, and most importantly the whole band having to make the music. I started humming to the song from my headphones, I always do this game where I guess the song title and band, Since there is too many songs, to remember by mind, I'm guessing it's KIll by Jimmy Eat World, i turn on m yphone to see if i was right and.....

I was wrong, it's Better than me by Hinder, Well i kinda was right, No not really, nevermind, just forget this conversation even happened.... I am a failure, Hey look the song is over, I know this song, I know it, It's Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me the Horizon, I turn it on and i was actually right wow! Okay remember this conversation, forget the other one.

"lemme listen." Jake asked, i was very private with my music, Not that many people listen to my playlist, when I made this playlist, I would listen to it all the time, out loud, and in my head, I loved it, it made me smile listening to the music. it all stopped one day when one of my numerous bullies told me to die, like the 'emo' girl I am which stuck with me, but the only thing is that it never really killed me it just told me that I should be who I secretly am, and that's being 'emo', people say that 'emo is satan's kids, but really 'emos' are just emotional, they like different music then the popular page of the music list, and emos are just scared of the society cruel fingers, pointing at the poor social anxiety female and male.

"Okay, here." I handed him the earbud, right when he put the earbud in, his eyes lightened up once he recognize the music. The song ended and the next song came on, which was Shadows Die by Black Veil Brides, I have to admit this song is really meaningful but i have deny that Shadows don't die, "Do you know the meaning of this song?" Jake asked looking over to me, I shook my head slightly.

"Well, it mean Shadows Die is about defeating F.E.A.R.'s reign and refusing to live as he tells them and freeing those who were captured by him. Andy is telling us that Shadows DO Die, once you move on and defeat F.E.A.R. they will slowly fade, like scars, they will always be there but they will die, and they won't come back, like the scars.." he trailed off after that, I looked down at my wrist and saw one single cut showing, I pulled up my sleeve right when I did, Jake grabbed my hand, which made me jump.

"Don't, no need to hide them, when I know about them."