20 Dates

{valentin princeton}

I, Harper Desireee Saige, happen to be the unluckiest human on planet earth. 

For example, the day I came into this world my dad was shit-faced wasted. My first shot of bad luck was approximately four minutes after I was born when my drunk father accidentally added an extra "E" to the end of my middle name on my birth certificate. Instead of "Desiree", my middle name is spelled "Desireee". You can literally hear the alcohol when you say my full name.

Let's not forget my ninth birthday party when I was taken to the hospital for choking on a birthday candle. At least I was lucky enough to survive!

I was even more unlucky when I turned sixteen. I had been saving up for a sports car since the seventh grade and when I finally bought it, of course I needed to test drive it. 

Well... 

Long story short I forgot how to use a brake and crashed into a ditch. My mustang was totaled as well as my pride.

Why am I ranting about my sad, unlucky life experiences? Oh yeah, because somehow I was blessed enough to win a freaking spot as a bachlorette on a t.v. show.

Those judges must have been dropped on their heads as a baby if they chose to pick me for their show. I'm awkward as hell and mentally exhausting to be around and I bet those 20 guys are going to voluntarily leave the show once they meet me. 

...

"Miss Saige! Welcome home for the next three months!" A booming, friendly voice calls from my right. My head snaps in the direction of the noise and immediately my eyes widen. 

In this moment there were two things on my mind. 

One, that house is fucking ginormous.

Two, who the fuck is that?

"Yoohoo! Over here!" A short man in strange 80s checkered pants hollers at me as he jumps frantically up and down waving his arms wildly. I reluctantly make my way over to the guy at the gates of my new temporary home. 

"Nice to see you've made it here safe! My name is Valentin Princeton, but most people call me Val," Val pauses and leans in to whisper a secret in my ear. "But my drag queen name is Princey Pie," He lets out a dramatic chuckle and gives me a wink.

Silence.

"Nice...to meet you?" I say, still kinda in shock from what I just heard.

"Oh honey, don't be intimidated by my gayness. You'll get used to it," Val says, holding onto my hand delicately. 

I hold back a laugh.

"So who exactly are you? Are you one of the 20 guys?" I ask.

Val shakes his head and responds curtly, "Housekeeper."

To be completely honest, Val is the most unique character I have ever met in my life. He looks mixed, I'm guessing hispanic and black parents. His outfit consists of a skin-tight crimson jacket and checkered pants. He's got a bandana wrapped around his dark curls. His skin is a beautiful dark caramel and his his eyes are a dazzling timber brown. 

He's literally the gay male version of Effie Trinket from The Hunger Games.

"Okay come on in bitch! Welcome to your new home!" Val leads me past the gates with an excited grin on his face. The mansion is massive with three decks and a modern glass exterior. I spot a pool and large hot-tub on the bottom deck. 

"I fucking feel like Kylie Jenner," I say, gawking at the gorgeous beach house. 

"And you're here to find your Travis Scott. Please don't bring any Stormi's into the world yet though!" Val looks horrified at the thought of the show's bachelorette being knocked up on television.

I laugh awkwardly, "Yeah... no promises," I chuckle when I see Val glare at me. "Just kidding Val."

Val got me situated in my enormous bedroom. The biggest perk about being the star of a television show is getting the best of the best. This room is completely different than my small bedroom in my apartment in Seattle. 

After Val leaves I plop down onto the California king bed and take a nap, exhausted from the flight and even more exhausted from being in Val's energetic presence. Hopefully the twenty guys won't be too bad...