The Golden Luna by Chray00
Cover
I love the cover. It fits the story perfectly and I especially love the font used. It works well for the Genre and story.
Title
It's a little cliché however I do love the title, it works and catches my eye.
Summary
You wanted honesty so I'm going to give it. Your summary didn't compel me to read more.
The first part of it I would take out completely. I don't think it's needed.
The second part is reeled off like a bunch of facts, like the sky is blue and grass is green.
I would try something like this
The Moon God's cruelty and horrors is talked about by no one but his descendants. Fear keeps the supernatural silent, his story slowly forgotten.
The next part is kind of the same. It needs to be reworded.
Chapters reviewed
The prologue needs to be edited the paragraphs are bunched together. I'd like a bit more length so I could really get into the story.
However, it was intriguing. Yes, there were a couple of errors but I know you'll fix that during the editing process.
The next chapter would have worked as a prologue. I'd right align instead of left and yet again watch out for bunching of the sentences and paragraphs.
Chapter one suffers the same curse on paragraphs being bunched together which made it difficult for me to get absorbed into the story.
There is a lot of telling rather than showing. However, you do have a great plot, both the story and you have a lot potential as writer.
I know as time goes you will really improve and for a first time story writer you are doing a lot better than most writers.
Please continue writing because you have a talent.
YOU ARE READING
Book of Prompts
RandomHere is a book of prompts, character names and meanings, book titles and more. Also I have added a book review form for those that want me to review their books.
