The Dauntless

Who are you again?

What kind of a sick bastard do you have to be to just drive mercilessly through the streets when there's rain pouring everywhere and what the fuck are these boots made of because,it's literally like I'm not even wearing them at all.My high heel black suede boots probably containted little fish inside from all the water and my flowy beautiful-just ironed, but not that it fucking matters now- skirt was also soaking wet and guess what..yup my spaghetti strapped t shirt was also wet and let's make things worse-I'm not even wearing a bra.

The coat could probably live,yeah, this is what it was made for but the rest of my clothes,nah.I was walking from my house to my school,it wasn't such a long walk but still,when a car just drove past you and through that big,enormous puddle of water on the ground that ended up on you,yeah the walk seemed a lot slower.Not because I was grumpy or anything but because I was mad.Oh,no..I was furious.The day couldn't have started any better,if you count afternoon as ''start of the day'' like I do.

First day of my senior year.Shit,I should be celebratning,except,well,I'm not.Why,you ask?Because I'm that little spot in other peoples' lives that stays right where you leave it every damn time.I don't improve,I don't evolve,I don't do things differently,and yes,I hate the ''new year,new me bullshit'' but I know what I'm going to tell you now is so hard to believe but I'm actually an optimist.

Greatest joke of the 21st century.

They should make a movie about me.I'm probably somewhere on some chinese kids' tv and they are having the time of their life watching this circus of my life play out in front of them.I know I am.

The streets of New York were well,what can I tell ya'?THE SAME AS ALWAYS.People were walking,running,stopping,talking,singing,fighting on their phones,yelling,just like always,nothing ever changes.It's all cramped and full and the sidewalks are impossible to walk on because there is zero amount of space in between people.But yeah,I still love this city,this is ''The Big Apple'' and everyone has to make a living in this concrete jungle where dreams are made of,there's nothing you can't do.

See what I did there?

Yeah,I live in New York and of course I hate paying for a cab that will drive me 3 blocks,50 bucks and have nothing to eat at school for the rest of the week,and of course I hate the traffic,of course I don't like bumping into people,sure,yeah nobody likes it when they're rude either but these streets feel like home and looking at that hot dog stand in front of the block I was walking by,made me feel like a kid again.

Anyway,let's go back to school.Yes,I'm so ironic,I know.

I go to art school.I know what you're thinking right now-she probably looks like a post-traumatic version of Lindsay Lohan and draws satan all day long and has nails like claws and is covered in paint in a lot of weird places-no.

I'm not.

I look like a plain teenager.I like my clothes baggy,I love jeans,my leather jackets,leather bags-yup totally s&m but I'm not into that I swear-I dont wear skirts like I do today,I like my spaghetti strapped t shirts,I keep my makeup to a minimum and my hair not that long and not quite short either.I'm not an all platinum blonde,I do have pretty fair almond colored hair and skintone.

My eyes are blue and greyish color,my nose is not perfect,it's a bit bumpy but that's okay,I'm pretty skinny because I used to have an eating dissorder along with all the others.

It's almost as if I can hear someone say ''All the others?''

Yeah,kuddos to me I got many dissorders and you ain't got none-HA HA.

Bipolar,OCD but in some weird fucked up way that I don't even know should I clean or line the towels by color or say things in order,I used to have an eating dissorder but I guess that's in past,I used to battle depression when my mother died not so long ago,but let's keep ourselves calm in the happy place,yeah.My happy place.