beginning.
"gotta make sure it's right, so until tomorrow: goodnight."
i think i might be in love with my best friend and i don't know what to do with myself.
i don't know where i should put my hands, when to touch my hair, if i should smile, laugh, cry. i'm all mixed up because of this one goddamn boy who listens to jimi hendrix and plays guitar like a god. who cooks me bacon and eggs in the morning, watches football even though he's never played the sport, skis mountains like a wild thing, and has the worst poker face it's hilarious.
my other best friend used to kind-of-date him last year, and she told me the other day that she reckons we both like each other but are too scared to admit it because: 1. we're scared of ruining our friendship, and 2. we're wary of the previous relationship she had with him.
both are right, i guess. i get along so well with this boy that to lose him would kill me. for that reason i've been smothering feelings for him since this time last year and convincing myself that he'll forever-and-only be my best friend and nothing else.
but his laugh, his squinty-eyed smile, his strong hands and arms and quiet yet confident nature have made me rethink everything i thought i knew about friendships and relationships. rethink everything i knew about him.
i don't know what tomorrow's going to bring, so i guess there's no use worrying about it. all i want at the moment is to be sitting on the couch with him, reading comic books and falling asleep to the sound of him playing and singing 'in your atmosphere' by john mayer.
is there anything wrong with that?
