shit. what have i gotten myself into? what am i doing? why am i doing this? why am i allowing myself to feel these things?
it's gonna go up in flames, i know. the gasoline has already spilt and it's trickling down my clothes and coating the soles of my feet and soon someone's gonna throw a match at me and i'm gonna blow.
it's only a matter of time now. i either die of suffocation or from being set alight. both hurt just as much. it's inevitable, this pain. and it's no longer a good kind of pain. it's now just the pain that i want to stop.
it's heartbreak and i hate it. i hate this. i hate being jealous and wanting more and knowing i can't get it and i just wish it would stop.
