Fishing in the Hometown

Independence Day - July 5, 2017

Dear mayor Cipere,
I feel that the Hometown's people are possibly a bit too patriotic.

Abnormalities observed: With what seemed like no preparation, the entire town was decorated for American Independence Day, on July 4. There was to be no negative speaking of America, its leaders, or its history. Any attempts to speak ill of America were met with silence of voice. The vocal cords would not operate effectively, and it was followed by a violent coughing fit lasting upwards of two minutes (estimated). Any attempts to write ill thoughts toward America were ineffective, any writing utensil would mysteriously cease to function properly. For details, see Addendum 4July-1A.

Other behaviors of note: Television programs were all in celebration of America, and every citizen had the day off from work. Expected activities for the 4th of July commenced as expected, such as barbecues, parties, and patriotic monologues.

Initial discovery notes: I woke up and the Hometown's center was outfitted with multiple American flags, yet nobody could tell me who had put them up, nor was there any evidence of previous setup procedure. All shops and venues were closed, including the Town Hall; thus, there was no reason to stay in the Hometown's center for long. Upon returning to my house, I was invited by my neighbor to join a family barbecue (including but not limited to: Family, Friends, and Acquaintances). I attended, nothing odd took place, it turned out to be an average American family barbecue complete with chips, hot dogs and cotton candy.

At multiple points throughout the day, I attempted to speak badly of America (because a citizen previously interviewed idly mentioned this being a day of unconditional love for America), only to be unnable to. The sounds I was capable of uttering were low growls, occasionally inciting coughing fits and sore throat. I also tried to write poorly of America, which attempts were also met with failure (See adddendum 4July-1A).

Theorized unobserved abnormalities: A possibly omnipotent force may be manipulating the people to be unable to criticize America and persuade them to praise it.

Addendum 4July-1A: Writing tests
Trial 1: Pen
Result: No ink would leave the pen, lubrication insufficient
Trial 2: Pencil
Result: Consistent breakage of graphite tip on contact with paper
Trial 3: Pencil (With positivity toward America)
Result: Successful, America praised.
Trial 4: Pen (With positivity toward America)
Result: Successful, America praised.
Trial 5: Pen (Positivity to negativity)
Result: Pen ceased functioning at point of negativity
Trial 6: Pencil (Positivity to negativity)
Result: Pencil broke at point of negativity