Valduggery||I don't want your help

The Aftermath

Hey, since there was such a gap between the 3rd and 4th chapters publishing, I'll publish 6 asap, sorry about the really long wait, and also the short-ness of chapter 4, it was a bit rushed.
Feel free to vote/comment/review or anything else,hope you enjoy
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P.s. The photo will make sense after this chapter.
P.p.s. OMG 92 reads 🖤🖤🖤 thank you guys so much!!! If we hit 100, I'll think about chucking in an extra bit of fluff just for you guys, comment your SP otp's and I'll see if I can cram them in somewhere!
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The next morning...
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Valkyrie awoke with a pounding headache, a kinked neck and a sore ribcage, nothing unusual for the detective, apart from the fact she was in her own bed.
She sat up with a jolt, looking immediately at the window, which was missing a pane with a disheveled Tanith hanging half in, half out of it. She then looked over at the side table, which had a half empty bottle of tequila on it. She swung herself out of bed, expecting her feet to hit the wooden floor, instead they hit something furry, she looked down, there was a sleeping Xena with an unlit cigarette in her mouth.Valkyrie raised an eyebrow as she bent down and pulled the cylinder shaped object from her pets mouth, placing it on the side table as she stepped out of bed, and over Xena. The first thing she noticed once she stepped out of bed, was that she was wearing a neon pink miniskirt. This was not acceptable.
She quickly strode over to her cupboard, once she opened the door, she saw a naked skulduggery hanging from a clothes rack... 'Skeletons in the closet, alright.' She thought to herself as she grabbed a pair of black jeans from the floor of the cupboard, shutting the door and leaving Skulduggery hanging. She left her room and when she entered the hallway, she saw passed out mages littering her floor... Somewhat unusual. Stepping around the almost lifeless forms she made her way to the bathroom, which, thankfully, did not have any passed out or unconscious inhabitants. She quickly got changed into the jeans and threw the pink skirt out the window. Then she carefully tread through the hallway, luckily not kicking anyone residing on the floor. When she walked into the kitchen, the first thing she noticed was two half-naked deadmen on her kitchen table... She sighed and averted her gaze over to the fridge, she got out some milk and turned on the kettle. The shrill noise seeming to disturb Saracen from his slumber, Dexter still completely unresponsive. As he opened one eye he looked, firstly, at the sleeping form of Dexter beside him and secondly at Valkyrie, awkwardly standing in the kitchen. He tapped his nose before drifting back into the murky depths of sleep. Valkyrie shrugged and continued making her tea.
Before the kettle had even had the chance to finish boiling, Skulduggery stumbled down the stairs, now wearing a pair of her skinny, ripped jeans, a neon yellow zebra-striped suit jacket, gold high-heels and a glittery golden party hat, the sight making Valkyrie chuckle. He glared at her, the action diverting his attention from the staircase and onto her... Which led to him tripping down the stairs. She laughed just as the kettle let out a whining noise to signal the end of its boiling, making her amusement barely audible. As he scraped himself up he seemed to notice the pair on the table. He sighed and then resumed glaring at Valkyrie. "I couldn't find my suit. Why do you own these anyway?" He explained, signalling at his odd outfit.
She raised an eyebrow, "I only own the jeans, I've no idea where you got the rest of that get-up." She said, still laughing as she spoke. He tilted his head, "well then, that's embarrassing." He then strode over to where she was standing, now having to look down quite a long distance due to the heels. "I'd offer you a different outfit, but you're looking quite suave in what you're wearing now, you should cross-dress more often, Mr. Pleasant." She replied with a smirk, much to his distaste. He tilted his head in what she assumed was a puppy-dog-eyes way. "Do you at least have a different pair of shoes I can borrow?" He begged, she laughed, "unless you want some red thigh-high red heels(a/n like Brendon Uries ;) ) then you should stick with what you have." He seemingly slouched with the news. She then turned around and resumed making her tea, noting that Skulduggery looked exhausted as he sat down at the breakfast bar, she grabbed the coffee pot and passed it to him. He looked at her somewhat baffled by the exchange, she shrugged "If you can get drunk from the scent of alchahol, I should be allowed to assume caffeine would wake you up if you smelt it." She supplied. He sent her a thumbs up, before opening the pot and placing his skull over it in a way that made him look like he was getting high. She smiled as she finished her tea-making. Quickly putting the few ingredients away before seating herself beside Skulduggery, he'd stopped inhaling the coffee and was instead fiddling with a black cylinder, "What's that?" She inquired as she took a sip of her steaming tea, "Oh- Its a camera. I found it on my way downstairs, I was hoping you'd look through them with me." He replied, "Okay." She said, curious as to what the camera contained, he quickly switched it on before going into its files, it must've been new as it only contained images of the previous night, as he skimmed though them, a few caught her eye, Tanith dancing with a blonde stranger who's face wasn't visible, Skulduggery running around with a broomstick in between his legs, holding a lemon in his hands, as it turned out, that one was a short video, in which he was yelling "I got the snitch!" repeatedly , he seemed to blush-Valkyrie could tell because he tipped his head forward in shame. As they continued to scan through the images, a few more interesting things were uncovered, just to name a couple:
A short video of Valkyrie sitting on a chandelier singing 'I wanna swing from a chandelier' whilst Tanith sat on the bannister singing something from lion king, Skulduggery downing shots, only for them to pour out his ribcage, Xena mauling Scapergrace-neither of the detective duo had any clue as to how he'd gotten in, Clarabelle flirting  to a houseplant, Onyx disappearing and re-appearing in different places singing 'Welcome to the Black Parade' and some random mage making out with an old fashioned gun similar to Skulduggery's. Valkyrie thought that was the last of the photos before a video loaded on the screen, she furrowed her eyebrows in curiosity, before pressing play on the video camera, it began as if someone was using the camera to scan the room, before stopping on a pair over in the corner, the camera zoomed in, it was them. They seemed to be having a casual conversation, Valkyrie doing a fair bit of laughing- it was hard to tell as there were flashing lights and loud noises making it harder for the camera to focus on them, as someone ran in front of the camera something must've happened because once the stranger was off screen, and the camera had refocused, it showed the pair making out by the wall.
Valkyrie pulled her face away from the camera, a dark blush spreading across her face, "oh." She said, attempting to hide her blush by shuffling her chair over so her face was mostly hidden before grabbing a mug and holding it up to her face. "Well..." Skulduggery said, turning off the camera, she looked over her shoulder, "What now?" She asked, quietly, "Now I offer to take you on a date to redeem myself." He said, straightening his jacket. Her eyes went wide, "What?!" She exclaimed, turning around in such a rush that she nearly spilled her tea, he sighed and face-palmed, "didn't you hear me? I was being serious" he explained, she then leapt from her chair and onto him, knocking him off his chair and onto the floor, where she proceeded to hug him, he awkwardly patted her back, "can you get off, please? You're squashing me" he said, dramatically, she laughed and pulled him up into a sitting position, still hugging him.
***
The duo spent a few more moments in that position before they heard a clicking noise, looking over at the kitchen table, Dexter and Saracen were lying on the table, smirking and holding out a phone-that they had presumably used to photograph the detectives, Valkyrie turned around and gave them the most vicious death glare she could muster, Saracen put down the phone with a shaky hand.
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Wc: 1411
Hope you liked, it's not my best work, btw the picture from the start is something I drew, so that's why it's so crap. Feel free to check out my other works, drop some votes/comments/opinions if you want. Sorry about not updating for so long, I had school holidays and family stuff on, which held up any free time I may have had for writing,
thanks again for 92 reads <3
Also, my twitter is @Kris_Amberwood4 add me if you want to know when to expect a chapter or if you want a little bit of insanity and randomness in your day ;)
-Z
P.s I meant to post this a few weeks ago but my wifi was crappy then and it didn't work 😥, hope you guys thought it was worth the wait!