You've made me so happy this entire year, it's honestly and truly amazing and beautiful that you and I are together. I know I've finally came to terms with my sexuality but it doesn't effect us. I'm with you, you're with me, nothing is gonna change that (well endless you cheat or something really bad happens) but still I'm not a 100% sure I'd leave you.
You've effected be so bad (in a good way) with my day to day life. I stopped smoking, which was honestly a hard ass thing to do, i miss smoking yeah. But we will smoke together, which makes me wanna wait, we will have such a blast, it'll be amazing. And then I stopped drinking all the time, sometimes I drink now, but not as bad. The one day I failed my math test, I had a shot of liquid courage just because I was mad about it, it took the edge off but not a lot, it was fire ball, yum fucking yum. A lot of people don't like it, they say it tastes the same way gasoline smells, I love fire ball, it's delicious.
Anyway this isn't about my love for fire ball, this is about my love for you.
Monday, July 10, 2017. I asked the most amazing girl in the world to be my one and only girlfriend. A few days prior to me saying I loved you, I wrote in my journal that I hated everything in my life except for you. My life was total shit before I met you, total fucking shit. Absolute shit, I was in the worse relationship I could possibly be in, my home life was terrible, I smoked and drunk to deal with the pain, I stopped caring about myself. For actual fucks sakes I was in therapy to deal with "anger issues & Daddy issues" and going to therapy did nothing. But taking to you, it helps me, it's like a much better therapy (also cheaper, well except for my phone bill but my dad pays that so it doesn't matter).
I love your sweet, innocent, beautiful smile, fills my heart with fireworks. I wouldn't know who i am without you, i never want to go back to my past. I will do anything in my power to make sure you know how much i love you.
There is No way I'll ever leave you. I can't wait till you graduate so I can say That's my girl!!! Fuck yeah she just graduated!! The type of thing we have is Everlasting love meaning it'll never ever go away. You're my brave honest beautiful girlfriend, I still will never get over saying my girlfriend. The distance will forever be Worth it. I know sometimes I make you mad, but you always forgive me in the end and I wish I stopped making you mad but I'm really glad we will always go back to our normal lovey dovey cliché selves. You're my Angel, a beautiful amazing Angel. And I just wanna say that you're pretty Dope. Sometimes Ill have a really Lonely night, but that doesn't mean it's because of you, Itd just be better if you were here to make it a lot less lonely. We're Better together so y'know, let's stay together till the end of time. I never wanna be a Miss movin' on from you. I really only wanna do bad things to you, forever and ever. You turned my heart inside out into a beautiful working loving heard I know I'll never be the same. Girls like you make me go insane I'm so lucky to have you, it's amazing and I'm never letting you go. Anytime we are going through something bad, I know it's Gonna get better.
Anyway enough quoting songs, it's so fun tho. My life was shattered and terrible, i was a stoner, in a terrible heterosexual relationship, i barely saw my family, i went to parties. I didn't care what happened to me, i had no one to love, no one to care for. But then, it all changed, with you. I felt loved, appreciated, and care for. For the first time in my 18 years i had a purpose. To love a wonderful woman whose name is beautiful as herself. I love everything about you, from your tiny feet to your beautiful locks of brown hair. I love your cute little freckles on your forehead, to your porcelain skin. I love how one day, i'll be able to use your ass and tits as a pillow.... hmmm what wonderful pillows. And don't let me get started on how much i love your clingy and neediness. I love when you get shy, it's so adorable, makes my heart melt. I love how i can talk to you about my problems and worries. Then you give me very good advice, it is amazing. I love your brutal honesty, sometimes it hurts, but it is for the better, it makes me change and try to be better.
I was nervous about face timing because it all became real, like it all fully settled it and I was afraid I'd ruin something and I didn't want that. I don't want to ruin us so that's why I was nervous while face timing. I didn't know what to do especially since when I do face time people I don't have the camera on me, it made me more nervous.
Do you remember the story I told you about us, well if you don't, here it is.
The princess and knight are separated at first by an ocean, they are miles apart. But their love over powers that and the miles feel like nothing. Then one day, the knight, she goes to finally save her princess. She comes to her princess's castle and tells her to open up. The princess, opens the door. Her eyes wonder over her knight, taking in every inch of who stands before her. They share a beautiful long lasting kiss. The knight sweeps the princess off of her feet, holding her safely in her arms. She goes up into the princess's room, and she packs a bag full of the things the princess will need. The tosses the bag over her shoulder, and picks the princess up again, they go to the chariot waiting outside. She puts her princess in the passenger seat, the bag in the back. Then they go to their suite. The knight holds the hand of the cherished goddess of who she calls her princess. They go into their room, that is fit for a princess. They order luxurious food, put on a movie, and they watch the movie. Then the food is gone and the movie is over. But the knight she gets a bottle of the finest champagne. They celebrate the first night together and not the last, definitely not the last. They share a toast, and kiss passionately and lovingly. The knight, holding her princess in her arms. Her princess, listening to her words, her sweet beautiful meaning words. Every word doesn't mean one thing, it means so many things. Their clothes on the floor, they aren't there for what you may think. The clothes are on the floor instead of their bodies because, the princess can't sleep in her clothes. Instead they sleep in pjs, the comfiest of the comfy. The princess in her knights arms, feeling safe and love... just what she shall always feel. They talk and talk for hours, their cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling. But they do not care, they focus on being happy and loved and over filled with joy. The time they start getting tired, it is morning, the sun is up. They decide it is time to sleep, so the princess shuts the blinds and puts a do not disturb sign on the door. She crawls back into the bed, the Knight cradling her princess. So they shut their eyes, and they sleep. They dream, but the knight wakes up screaming, she wakes up the princess from her slumber. The princess asks what is wrong, the knight was afraid it is all a dream, they share a beautiful meaningful kiss. And the princess says, see we are here and we are real. They go back to sleep, this time the princess holding the knight in her arms. Later that day, so evening time, the knight takes the princess on a date. They go to a restaurant and are there for hours just talking and drinking wine, then their server asks themto leave because it is closing time. So the knight pays and they go on their way. They go to a park, and walk around. Talking about whatever comes to mind, hand in hand. It gets dark so they decide to go to their suite. They make sweet passionate love, the knight making sure she more than satisfies the princess. They are covered in sweat and they do no care. Instead they go to sleep, relaxed and have no cares in the world. The knight gets a cheap apartment and stays until the princess finishes up with school, the princess says her goodbyes to her family. They go back to the states. The knight has a castle waiting for her princess. They unpack boxes and bags. They get everything they need for their beautiful home. They decorate each room with each ounce of their personality and love. They laugh and smile everyday. In the evenings they sit on the couch and watch tv or movies or whatever. They sit and relax. One day unexpectedly, the knight asks the princess to be hers forever and ever, to be... her wife. The princess screams in joy and says, yes yes yes!! So the knight slips a beautiful ring onto the princess's finger. They share the deepest and most meaningful kiss. They have the most beautiful wedding, then of course next step... dogs!! Well cats and dogs then it comes to having kids. So they have the cutest most beautiful children of their own. Each night with their children is like a new chapter in their life together. Everything is perfect, forever and always. Then they retell their story together, their children gaging at the cuteness. The knight and princess gives no fucks and keep being their lovey dovey selves.
The end
Well not really because they never end, they live on forever and forever.
