Art and Other Shit

a poem for 100th chapter

Just like last time,
Tears pouring from my eyes,
My breath is shaky
And the weights on my shoulders are more heavy.

The mask is breaking apart.
I think I need to point to the sad face on the chart
but no, I don't need him to help.
He'll only build more to my shell.

Everyday, it's always the same.
More and more people adding to my shame.
I don't want to go
but I must put on a show.

People like what I make
but he says they're fake.
My happy outlet is gone
so the show must go on.

Backstage isn't much better.
It just reminds me that I don't matter.
It puts me down, of course
but I must pretend so I don't get a curse.

They say, "tell the truth."
Could I say that I feel like a loose tooth?
I might fall today or tonight
but I always fall when the time isn't right.

I want to get rid of the pain and I know how
but if I do it, something might go down.
I don't want to hesitate
but I can't take the cake.

So many but's, no more so's.
So many things I want to stop but I can't say no.
It's piling on and on and on
meaning more and more cons.