Actions Against Words (jihope)

9

Trigger warning (which I didn't think would happen for this book. Then again, it's a GardenOfNightmares fanfiction there's no such thing as happiness)- no Hoseok and Jimin can not be happy. Reader beware, this chapter includes graphic (by my standards, you can never be too careful) descriptions of rape, panic attacks and I think there's one mention of attempted suicide but there might be more. You've been warned.
-Jalyn.

Hoseok had pulled up to Jimin's front door with the intention of dropping him off, but apparently the door was locked. It would be indecent of Hoseok to sit there with his hand on the car horn until Jungkook showed up and let them in. He did have a key to his own house. Jimin left Jungkook a text explaining where he would be, and Hoseok drove more to the other end of Seoul. He nearly fell asleep driving, Jimin had to nudge him back awake. He hadn't realised how tired he was until at his own front door. He lit a cigarette when he got inside, and told Jimin to "ignore the smell of alcoholism and nicotine addiction and just be glad the place isn't a mess and thank Jesus I don't vape."

There was a note on the kitchen table.

Mom's in hospital and they don't think she's gonna make it. I'm in Daegu to be with my family before she dies. I should be back soon.
-Yoongi.

Hoseok felt horrible. He shouldn't have pretended to be asleep the night before. What he should've done was 'woken up' and comforted him. Because whether he wanted to admit it or not, Yoongi was there for him during the worst time of his life.

But there was a plus side. Hoseok had the whole house to himself for a while, which was always good. And he was alone with his boyfriend, which was great. He put out his cigarette and asked Jimin if he was hungry. Jimin had shaken his head, which was just as well. Hoseok couldn't be bothered making food.

He had led Jimin upstairs, forgetting why when he'd reached his room, where he just collapsed onto his bed, taking Jimin down with him. He was asleep in an instant.

"I told you not to answer me back, Hoseok. What did I say would happen? What did I tell you?"

Instead of nightmares, sometimes bad memories would be relived. And this was his worst memory. The memory of his last relationship, how it had begun to spiral out of control. It drove him close to madness. It made him forget his humanity, his purpose in life. By the time it was over, he was nothing but an empty shell. A bare figure of what he had been. Only fifteen years old.

"Now I need to punish you. I don't want to do that. You're forcing me to beat you. Why do you need punishment?"

Because he spoke back. Because dared challenge her. No, not her, more like it. Monsters don't have genders. He dared to go against her orders. He dared to fight back against her control. Because he did something bad. Saying no was his worst crime. He had told her to go ahead, beat him. He said he didn't care. Why did he say that? Why did he say that?

"Oh, Hoseok. That's so sweet of you. Opening the path for our relationship to progress."

No, you're not here, you're just remembering it, this isn't happening again.

"I do recall you mention your sexual status. It would be sad for you to die a virgin. Consider this a gift from me."

Wake up, you need to wake up, wake up before you have to live through it all again.

She had ran a hand through he hair with the smile that made his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. He said no again and she hit him. And it hurt this time.

This isn't real, Hoseok, you need to wake up and you'll see this isn't real, you're lying in bed and you're not with her anymore.

She had pulled at his shirt. Hoseok had fought back, trying to draw attention to them somehow. But her friends were guarding them. Making sure nobody came through.