Actions Against Words (jihope)

10

They kissed. It was Hoseok that made the first move. Jimin hesitated a second, slightly disorientated, before kissing back. He was lucky, he knew that. If Hoseok hadn't've been there, who knows what could've happened. As they sat there, drowsily kissing, the bad thoughts in Jimin's head all seemed to disappear.

They were replaced with thoughts of how in love he was. How he never wanted Hoseok to leave him, ever. He'd never felt this way for anyone. He remembered reading something on the internet about soulmates. Even though he thought it was impossible at the time, he seemed to have lost some of the doubt.

Jimin opened his eyes and-

He couldn't finish the thought because he'd completely forgotten what he was thinking about. Hoseok's eyes were open, and his gaze was so powerful. It was strong and overwhelming. They pulled back to get some air, but then Hoseok started kissing him again. Jimin didn't mind. He'd fallen in love with a pair of eyes. They were hypnotic, pulling him into some trance of love. He was sure Hoseok didn't intend to do it, but Jimin didn't dare close his eyes because then he'd miss Hoseok's. They got air again, Jimin's eyes snapped closed the second Hoseok turned away.

Holy shit.

They resumed kissing for the third time, and each time, Jimin wanted it to end less. He had no clue what Hoseok was thinking, but he knew his eyes were open. The question was did he dare to open his own? His answer was yes, yes he did. He risked hypnotism, losing his mind, soul, heart and body to that man with him in his harms, but he didn't care. The mind loss was worth it. In these moments of time-

Holy SHIT.

This time he completely gave way to Hoseok and his eyes. If he wasn't such a great kisser, Jimin might not have been so drawn in. He had lost all the fatigue from waking up, yet collapsed down into the bed, weakened by love. His hands clung at Hoseok, tugging at his hair and clothes.

He didn't divert his attention anywhere but Hoseok's eyes, because in this moment, keeping himself inside that trance was the only thing that mattered to him. When they took an air break again, Hoseok climbed under the covers with Jimin, and they proceeded. Jimin's brain was too busy crying in a corner for him to be able to form any thought that made sense. But that didn't matter.

He'd given himself up. Hoseok completely dominated him and Jimin honestly didn't care if he did or didn't. He was jealous of Hoseok's mattress for sleeping with him every night. He'd do anything for him. Hoseok could enjoy his body whilst Jimin just lay there in that perfect trance and stare at him. He could stab him to death and sacrifice his blood to Satan and Jimin would probably come back from the dead and thank him.

He had this sort of feeling going on inside him by the time they took the next air break. Hoseok started talking, though, breaking eye contact with Jimin, who suddenly snapped back to the real world.

"I'm sorry if that seemed a bit sudden or something." How the fuck could Hoseok act so awkward after all that? You didn't have to be a rocket scientist to know he was more than just sunshine and rainbows. He was power, he was dominance, he was control. He was definitely something, no doubts about that. Best of all, though, he was Jimin's. He carried on talking, Jimin listened. "I've had my own panic attacks before. I figured that if I distracted you it would maybe stop all the thoughts from coming to you. It was a stupid idea, I'm sorry."

Jimin didn't care. He didn't care what it was for or how stupid it was. He resumed the kiss, wrapping his legs around Hoseok to pull himself closer. Hoseok put a hand on the back of Jimin's head, the other on his waist, tracing the edge of the elastic of the pair of jeans he'd fallen asleep in. This brought Jimin's attention to the fact that both of them had fallen asleep fully dressed, which was a bit of a disappointment.

Not to say Jimin would be enjoying this a whole lot more if Hoseok was shirtless, but Jimin would be enjoying this a whole lot more if Hoseok was shirtless.

Air break. Resume. Jimin sank down into the mattress he envied. He had to be either drunk or high because he was actually jealous of a mattress. He was jealous of Yoongi, and also mad at him. Who in gay hell would punch this man in the face? He was like an angel, with a dark side. To quote a song he knew, maybe like an angel with a shotgun.

Hoseok was literally on top of Jimin at this point. His point of view has been slightly missed during this moment, but he was currently thinking of where they were. And they were alone. Yoongi wasn't in Seoul. They were in bed, under the covers. They'd been kissing for way over two minutes now, and Hoseok was having the teenage boy on his father's computer urges that he hadn't had in so long. Jimin was so innocent, but it was cold in there. Who sleeps in the cold with their clothes on?

Starting from that exact moment, not Hoseok. Or Jimin. Because God said so. It was human nature to engage in sexual intercourse. And he didn't feel like human at the best of times, but at this moment he did. Jimin seemed to have the same idea as he did. His hands slipped behind the fabrics of Hoseok's shirt and started pulling it upwards. Hoseok smiled.

Consider it as a gift. You know you can't protect him.

Hoseok stopped moving. He stopped kissing. His heart stopped beating. He couldn't do it. His smile fell. Jimin pulled back, his breathing the only sound he'd made the whole time Hoseok had known him. He sat up. Hoseok moved with him, falling in a heartbroken daze.

"I-" he didn't know why he felt like he had to explain it to him. But he did anyway. "When I was fifteen, I had this girlfriend, right? My first and last. She scared me out of relationships up until now. She... she did some horrible things to me. I lost my virginity to her and it wasn't fun. It was-" he paused to take a shaky breath and choke back tears, "it was rape. She did this thing called kissing boot camp. She trained me to be a good kisser and if I did something wrong, I'd get beaten. It's why I kiss with my eyes open. So I could see if I needed to dodge a projectile bitch slap."

There was silence. They were still bundled up under the duvet together. Jimin cuddled up to Hoseok, hugging him and resting a head on his bicep. At Jimin's touch, Hoseok felt a lot better. He still wanted to fuck him. He just couldn't bring himself to. Which tore him up inside.

"I loved her, though." Hoseok had choked out, making Jimin tense up. Jimin didn't know height anyone could love someone who would hurt them like that. Hoseok's eyes spilled over, and he instantly wiped away tears. He wasn't about the let Jimin see him cry, although he was already watching. "I thought I did, anyway. She died of cancer, and it was only when I didn't miss her that I realised I didn't love her. I was afraid of her. I haven't been in a relationship since then. Until now, of course."

Jimin nodded, listening. He was dozing off, though. Hoseok wrapped and arm around him, pulling him close. He let himself fall backwards, bringing Jimin down to cuddle up to him.

"You're different. You're not like her. There's something about you. A mystery. And I really love how innocent looking you are, and whenever I look at you I can feel some sort of urge pulling us together. I can't help but feel like you're my sort of soulmate. Like we were supposed to be together." Hoseok laughed to himself. "Or maybe I'm just tired. We should go to sleep. I'll trust you to fight off nightmares for me."

Jimin smiled, laying on his side with his face in Hoseok's ribs. Hoseok lay on his back, staring at the roof. He was still staring when the sun rose and the day started. When his phone started blowing up with texts from Yoongi asking if everything was okay back in Seoul.

Nothing was okay back in Seoul, thank you very much.