"I know I'm not the BEST person... b-but I try! I tried to be there for you... you just never saw me... watching you... quietly helping you... I never wanted to have to do those things! Please believe me! I've been raised all my life that it's wrong for a man to love another man, and that my family always said we should personally punish people like that... please forgive me...," I cried into my hands as I set on my bed, while my ears lay flat on my head, mumbling quietly to myself so my family didn't hear anything going on in my bedroom.After a good fifteen minutes of straight crying, and trying to figure out where I went wrong, I get up and walk over to my radio turning it on and up to drown out my own thoughts, and to clean up my room. Which let's face it.... is kind of in a poor state. I've been letting myself go mentally some since... I have GOT to pull myself together...
My room didn't have much in it, a nice queen sized bed, poorly made at the moment, with blue and black sheets, a dresser with a large mirror on top on one side of it (currently covered in folded and unfolded clothes), and my desk which held my 3 monitor custom build computer, which was turned off at the moment. The walls were eggshell and pretty bland. There were two posters, one of my favorite game DOOM, and another of a motivational quote saying, "The only one stopping you from achieving your dreams, is you."
The floor was carpeted, and had my clothes just scattered across it. So I grab my clothes bin and start picking them up one piece at a time.
'I've really let myself go... maybe if I just... oh who am I kidding... I won't ever be able to get over him...' I freeze and sigh heavily beginning to whimper again, soon dropping the bin and just falling back into bed face down. I wiggle up to my pillow and bury my face into it. Before softly crying myself to sleep.
I woke up a couple hours later, the sun was already gone, and my phone said it was three in the morning, I sigh heavily sitting up rubbing the sleep from my eyes and fixing my ruffled fur some.
It was always the same dream, over and over. Well. I won't be getting any more sleep before school...woohoo... I get up and continue to pick up my clothes and once down I slip down into my chair at my desk and look around my room.
My parents never cared what I did behind my bedroom door, as long as I keep up my good grades, and it's not drugs. I wouldn't say my family are extremists...buuuuuuuut, when we all look at our parents, don't we all think they are at some point? I think the most extreme thing I've ever seen, and still haunts me till this day...
My brother Joshua, the coolest person alive, in my opinion, came out as gay to mom and dad. They... didn't take it well. Dad beat him senseless, hoping to beat the "evil" out of him, then kept dunking his head in a tub of water while mom preached, as if they were trying to do an exorcism, and expecting some spawn of Satan as a black ink like creature just wiggle out of him, we even got a noise complaint over that. In the end he was just tossed out, and I mean TOSSED. Dad grabbed him and just threw him, like an old paper, as well as a bag of clothes.
That was 5 years ago. They didn't want to risk that to happen to me. So I used to go to church every chance, pray to not be, and so on with the mumbo jumbo... What good did that do? Nothing.
Personally I wish I wasn't gay, but... no no... I can't go back to thinking about him... I need to improve.
Waiting a bit I just think about my brother, wondering what he was doing. I haven't talked to my brother that much since he was kicked out thinking he was sin, like my parents...
I spin in my chair facing my computer, and on a charger base is my phone. I grab it and start scrolling through my contacts to my brothers number and calling him.
"Hello?..."
_________________________________________"So are you gonna stop by the field today? Jack will be practicing." Asked Ken as he rubbed my leg taking us to school.
A lot had happen in a few weeks. I decided to stay with Mr. Mont and Seb, after Seb asked me to stay. Said it would be good for their relationship. I knew more about Ken, and let's say...we've been kind of inseparable. My paw healed and I could walk now. I still have yet to meet Jack though.
I laid my head on his shoulder and give a gentle purr nuzzling it softly, "Of course! It's about time I got to hang out with him. Surprised we haven't already to be honest."
He only chuckles and rubbed my leg more, "You need to stop that. Hehe...I'm driving."
I sigh and sit up watching the trees and fields zoom by as he drives, "FIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEE. So what time do you work today?"
"5 to 10. I'll be back at my place." I nod and sigh softly seeing the school in the distance.
Even though my classes are significantly easier here than back home, I still don't enjoy school, but then again who honestly would? Having Ken helps, he's a very funny guy. One time I wasn't feeling to happy and really home sick, so depressed mostly. He dedicated his day to trying to make me laugh and smile, and when I say he can't make a pun to save his life... it makes me want to cringe, he over thinks things which is ACTUALLY the funny part. He always misses something up in a cute way.
Like one time he tried to make a joke about sports, but some of his football buddies heard and start cracking jokes about him. He had to be the smallest person on the team. Granted his buddies had no idea about us, which is how I wanted it.
Pulling into the school parking lot I see Mr. Mont guiding traffic of buses and cars and dancing while he was doing it, I can see what Seb was saying about him, being quite funny. He nods to us as we drive by and park. I get out and grab my bag walking into the building Ken beside me talking about something, but I was personally lost in thought as I saw a new figure get off the bus.
He was a rather lean, yet fit lion, his mane wasn't fully developed but it was still noticeable. He wore a red jacket and had a single strap backpack while wearing black jeans. I don't know what about him felt so... familiar... but something told me that this school was about to get pretty colorful...
YOU ARE READING
A Teacher's Love (Under Construction)
RomanceLiving in a cruel world where everything and everyone is out to get you is a bad thing. If anyone is to know what a bad thing is its Jack L. Freeman. A black furred feline with one green and one blue eye along with markings on his body that change c...