Chapter 10 ~ Mila

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Chapter 10 ― Mila

“Here, take this,” Moni told me handing me the mug with hot, sweet and perfect tea. Oh how she knew me. I was trying to write, and by trying I meant typing three words and deleting five because I was so fucking insecure at writing, and tea always helped me to focus a bit more. I only needed tea, cigarettes and Moni threating at me with objects if I deleted something.

I wrote Harry Potter fan fictions during my spare time and it took me a couple of years to overcome my fears and publish online. I have my readers, I have my friends and I loved to read all the reviews they left for me on each chapter. It was always rewarding to read their words and it helped me a lot with my insecurities, but despite that, it was still hard for me to like what I wrote.

“Thanks,” I mumbled taking the mug and focusing on the screen of my macbook again. The cursor was there, flashing and pressuring me to write. I only had two paragraphs and I’d been writing like for an hour. Yeah, I was a slow writer.

“How are you doing?” She asked taking a seat next to me in my chair. She had her own mug with black tea in her hands. Her eyes examined the page and the two lame paragraphs I had written, her expression very careful and serious.

Moni was the only one I trusted enough to see my drafts and to give me an honest opinion about what I did. She would tell me all the mistakes I made and if what I wrote was rubbish or not. If it was, she would help me to write something better.

“I’m stuck. I swear I can’t write. I have everything here in my mind but I can’t put it into words!” I cried out so exasperated for the whole situation. I had been looking at the screen for twenty minutes already.

“First off, relax. You can write this and so far is great, though I feel like you are not connecting with Draco like you normally do. Maybe you need to go out, you know? Take a break or something,” she suggested and I just sighed as I took a sip of my tea.

“I already smoke two cigarettes. I don’t know what’s keeping me from writing,” I mused still looking at the damn cursor. “I should quit on writing and Uni and go and live under a bridge. Yes, that’s a good idea. I’m gonna do that— Oi! That hurts,” I cried out.

“That’s for saying stupid shit. I will burn down any bridge you choose. You won’t quit writing nor Uni. Got it? Now, we have to do something about this.” I looked at her with my poker face. I couldn’t think of anything, which was why I couldn’t write. My mind was blank, like all the little Milas in there had gone on strike and refused to work for me.

“Okay, let’s talk this out. Where do you want to go with the story?” Moni asked. She did the same every time I was suck with one of my stories. She just kept asking question, making me excited for the things to come and that normally worked. Not that day.

“I know where I want to go, I know what I want to write but I just can’t!” I blurted out. Frustration was eating me alive.

She just looked at me for a couple of seconds then turned to face my laptop and just closed it. “Okay, if this isn’t working, then we have to do something else. I vote for watching a DVD of certain band that we both love that starts with ‘M’ and ends with ‘cFly’,” she stated and I chuckled knowing how much Moni loved the McFly DVD. I couldn’t remember how many times we had watched that, I lost track after a hundred.

“I don’t wanna do that,” I complained and she looked at me with a shocked expression, like I just had said a blasphemy. In her world, in fact it was. “Sorry, but I’m not in the mood for anything.”

“Could that be because you miss you new friend Zayn?” She asked waggling her eyebrows and I almost choked on my tea. Moni laughed out loud at my reaction and she was about to fall from the chair. That would have been fair.

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