There's only one word to describe Rielle's first love: publicity.
In a world of stardom, all the spotlight and the pretending got so confusing that Rielle didn't know any more what's real and what's not.
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A story dedicated to @nocturnalfoxxx the fi...
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Chapter 17 ___________ ___________
Sungjae
I used the company's phone to get a box of fried chicken and cans of beer delivery. After several minutes of waiting in silence, Rielle and I went up to the rooftop.
"Did you tell Changsub that you would be late?" She asked as she sat on the bench there with a whole view of the city.
"I sent him a text."
She nodded and smiled just a little. "Thanks for staying."
She grabbed a can of beer and opened it up. I opened mine too and we clinked our cans together and drank quietly. The stars are nowhere to be found. It seems like they have been replaced by the city lights.
"I can't believe at the extent my... dad is going." She said and drank again. "I'm trying to understand him. Really." Her voice trembled and I so badly want to hold her.
A tear rolled down her cheek. "You know how in families, it's like you love them naturally, right? Sure, sometimes, they would be annoying or frustratingㅡbut at the end of the day, you know you love them." She said, "I don't even know if I love my dad. His dream was to become a celebrity, you know. He couldn't do that because my mom had me earlier than he might have wanted. I felt like I owed him something, so when he tried to achieve his dream through me, I just let him. I guess, at some point, I thought I loved him but now, I'm not so sure anymore."
She wiped her tears away quickly. "I'm sorry. You must be going through a lot already and here I am making it worseㅡ" She stopped when I wiped another tear that rolled down her cheek with the back of my hand.
I smiled softly. "Of course, you love him. Why else would you try to achieve that dream in his stead?"
She shook her head, lips trembling. "I don't know. I really don't know." She said and drank again. "He... makes me feel bad about things that I love doing because he makes it seem like I'm just doing them because he told me so."
"What do you mean?"
"For instance, the charity thing. I've always wanted to do that someday when I could say that I have my own savings. I've always wanted to help children get education no matter where they areㅡbut I know that once we do it, even if I love it... because we're doing it for the public to see, it just... breaks my heart a little." Her teary eyes met mine. "Because it will always feel like a lie." She added, then drank again.
"I'm sorry, if not for meㅡ"
She shook her head. "No, please stop apologizing. It's not your fault. None of this is your fault."
Rielle opened up another can. The box of fried chicken was completely ignored. It seemed like none of us had the appetite to eat.
"Is next time now? Should I tell you about my family?"
